Her own eyes had been puffy and red when she got up. She had held a cold cloth over them for a long time before coming downstairs. If her mother had done the same, it hadn’t worked.

Leah remembered when her mom had been beautiful. She could have been a model or an actress. Her eyes were so blue, her dark hair as smooth and shiny as hair in a shampoo commercial. Now there was gray in her hair and lines beside her eyes and around her mouth. Her skin was pale and dull. Her hand was trembling as she reached for a coffee cup.

“Mom, do you want juice?”

“No,” she said without looking over.

“Do you want an egg?”

“No.”

“Do you w—”

“I just want coffee,” her mother snapped, then touched a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, staring down at the coffee cup. “I’m just going to have coffee and some toast.”

Nerves crawled around in Leah’s stomach. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.”

“You don’t look fine. You look sick.”

Her mother pretended not to hear her as she poured a splash of cream into the coffee and added sugar. She closed her eyes again as she used both hands to raise the cup to her lips.

Leah took her seat at the table and chose an egg from the bowl.

“You should have an egg or something,” she said, though she didn’t crack her own. She just played with it, turning it this way and that on her plate.

Her mother set the cup down and put a slice of bread in the toaster.

“You always used to tell Leslie and me that breakfast was the most important meal—”

“Leah, please!” her mother snapped. “I don’t want a lecture. I want a piece of toast.”

“Did you sleep last night?” Leah asked. “You look like you didn’t.”

“I went back to work for a while.”

It didn’t seem to occur to her that maybe Leah hadn’t slept either. Sometimes Leah thought it didn’t even register with her mother that she had gone through the same experience her parents had when Leslie was taken.

They had lost a daughter. Leah had lost her sister. They had at least been able to try to do something about it. Daddy had gone out on every search, but Leah hadn’t been allowed to go out with the search parties. Her mother had thrown herself into the volunteer center, making flyers and posting them all over the place. Leah thought she could have helped put the flyers out, but no one would let her.