“Weren’t you going to have this argument somewhere else,” said the father weakly. Probably hoping we’d duel, kill each other, and leave the little family in peace, bargain or no bargain.

“If you think I’m going to let you carry off the child -” I began.

“You can hold her, but I’m not letting you out of my sight,” the other witch said. “Go on then.”

I rolled my eyes and scooped up the infant out of the cradle. And promptly dropped a smoke globe, which brought me straight home. If she was fool enough to let me be the one to lay hands on the contested baby, so be it -

And she was standing in my living room.

“Tut, tut, aren’t we impolite. We haven’t resolved the question. Oh, this place is nice, isn’t it?”

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“I’m a witch.”

“So the hell am I -”

“Language! There’s little ears about!” cooed the intruder.

“You still seem under the impression that you’re going to have any say in what happens to the owner of those little ears. You may have followed me home, but now you’re in my domain -”

“Yes, mind your hospitality obligations.”

“I didn’t invite you in!”

“Of course you did.”

I went back over the sequence of events and - yes, I sort of had. Implicit agreement to the rules of engagement that included continuing our little custody battle somewhere else. She’d let me choose the ground, and then followed me right to it. I should have gone somewhere else.

“Look,” I said, “I need this baby. I don’t have any others lined up, I want to turn her into my apprentice, and the sidereal arrangements I need to seal the deal are only coming up once in the next thirty years, six months from now, too soon to trawl the continent for needy pregnant peasants. What would it take to get you to go away?”

“I’m not going away,” said the other witch.

“You -”

“Look, let’s do this civilly. I’m Millicent. What’s your name?”

I looked up at the ceiling. I needed to string some more garlic. The baby fussed in my arms and I started swaying to soothe her.

“Orawne. What do you even want her for?”

“Same thing. I haven’t got a time limit, but I do have to stick to the first child I pick. I’m not giving her up any more than you are.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake -”

“But I can share.”

I stared at Millicent.

“You can share?”

“I can. Look, I haven’t got a permanent residence at the moment -”

“You were going to raise a baby apprentice while homeless?” I exclaimed.

“While nomadic, thank you, and with plenty of people who have roofs and owe favors! But you’ve got lots of room. I’ll take a spare bed and save you childrearing time and she can learn both sorts of witching.”

“You’re mad. You’re completely -”

“I bake.”

“I’m sure you do, but -”