‘About what?’

‘I don’t know. Life. School. Jed. We don’t seem to discuss things as much as we used to.’

‘Jed’s lovely. I don’t deserve him.’

‘That’s a bit harsh. He really loves you. And he’s right to.’

‘I don’t need a pep talk, Mum.’

‘I’m not—’

‘What is it you want? Why don’t you just spit it out?’

Kate felt unconscionably like bursting into tears. Was her daughter turning into her mother? ‘We haven’t really talked about how things were with your dad.’

‘We have.’

‘Not in any meaningful detail.’

‘All right. What do you want to know? It was a bit shit. It was obviously a bit shit.’

‘Was it nice to see him?’

‘Of course. We still love him, even if you don’t.’

‘What did you chat about?’

‘School. Friends. Jed. How he was doing in Moscow. When we might see him again. Whether it would be possible to live with him . . .’

Fiona had speeded up now, so that Kate had to jog a few steps to come back alongside her daughter. She could feel her throat constricting. ‘I’m sorry, what did you just say?’

Fiona didn’t slacken her pace. Kate was forced to take hold of her arm and spin her around. She was confronted by five feet seven of pure teenage fury: a young woman who seemed unsure as to whether to spit at her mother or burst into tears. Or both. Kate knew exactly how she felt. ‘What do you mean, whether you could live with him?’

‘Exactly what I said.’

Kate stared at her. She knew when Fiona was trying to provoke her and that she should not take the bait. ‘I’m going to forget you said that.’

‘Why? I meant it.’

‘I don’t think you did.’ Kate couldn’t keep the anger from her voice. ‘Not just because it’s grievously insulting, but because we both know it would be impossible.’

‘Why? I’m sixteen in two weeks’ time. Old enough to have sex. Officially. An adult. If I want to go and live with Dad in Russia, I don’t believe there’s anything you can legally do to stop me.’

‘That’s not true, as you should know. Anyway, what about your brother?’

‘He wants to come too. And he can, as soon as he’s old enough.’

‘And what about Jed?’

Fiona’s face clouded. She didn’t have an answer to that one. Kate was tempted to press her advantage, but she held her tongue. You really didn’t need to be a psychiatrist to discern what was going on here. It was her job, as a mother, simply to suck it all up.

Fiona hurried to join her boyfriend. When they returned to Simon and Rose’s house, Kate went upstairs to her bedroom and burst into tears. Again. Never in all her life had she felt so alone.

9

IF, FOR A contented mind, time is peace, then for a fevered one it’s precisely the opposite. The nearly five or so hours it took for Kate to return to London were close to torture. The worse she felt, the more she wondered what was wrong with her.