In the end he agreed to implement EOQ, on a trial basis, with his stock of ball bearings. JHA does not use too many ball bearings in any case and I convinced the fool that it is safe to try my EOQ methods on ball bearings for a full week without too much risk. I did the first calculation myself and showed him how we had to order 3126.786 ball bearings today itself to maintain optimal inventory. He said that JHA normally used only twenty or thirty a month. But I told him that he must trust the mathematics without question.

EOQ, I told him, was not open to human intervention.

He went away only to come back an hour later to tell me that his supplier was refusing to ship 0.768 ball bearings. It took every ounce of my self-restraint to not slap him in the face with my laptop. I told him that he could round it off—up or down—to the nearest whole number.

The concept of ‘whole number’ took another fifteen minutes, but in the end Saraf seemed very happy. He said that he liked this EOQ system and couldn’t wait to see how it would help him reduce inventory. I told him that as a management consultant it was my duty to help my clients in any way possible.

As I left the factory in the evening after work to go to the guesthouse I ran into Saraf again. He told me, looking very excited indeed, that 3127 ball bearings would be delivered the next morning. I then told him that he should recalculate this every day and keep ordering. The calculations would automatically reduce his inventory.

The rest of the day paled in comparison to my project with Saraf. It was tough, excruciating and slow and Saraf is a complete idiot. But I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Also, Gouri sent me a text message in the evening: DEAR E, WORK GOES ON AS USUAL. HOPE YOU ARE WELL. TAKE CARE OF HEALTH. HOW IS TAJ? I MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU, G.

How do I respond to this? She has never said those words before. Does she mean it in a casual, friendly, lusty sort of way? Or in a we-need-to-get-married-soon sort of way? I am a little confused. What do I write back?

Puzzled.

9 p.m.

Masterstroke. I’ve sent her this: G, ALL GOES WELL HOTTIE! THINKING OF YOU OFTEN. I’LL LOVE YOU TOO! EINSTEIN.

I think my response is nice and breezy but without getting too intense. Well balanced.

I don’t want to say something I don’t mean to Gouri. I like her too much. I want to be sincere with her.

Have decided not to tell her about the guesthouse situation. It’s too embarrassing.

17 November 2006

8.22 p.m.

Guess who was waiting for me at the factory when I went in today?

Saraf the Genius. He ran towards me to show me his EOQ calculation for today. He said it looked a little high at 2122 bearings. After all, we’d ordered more than 3000 yesterday. I reminded him once again that he must never question the calculations but merely do what the numbers say. He immediately ran away to place his orders.