He glanced at Albert, then at Theo and away and then, quickly, back at Theo, and this time he was staring, a half-puzzled, half-pleased expression on his face. He turned to look at June, raising his eyebrows comically.

She stood up. ‘Well?’ she said, looking back at him. ‘What do you think?’

‘Oh, I think it’s going to be an interesting evening.’ He looked them over again, and his smile widened. ‘Very interesting.’

Albert looked at him, unsure of what to say. Theo, on the other hand, seemed to harbour no such doubts. ‘Yeah, and who you be, huh?’ she challenged, hands on her hips, staring scornfully at the big man.

‘Oh, I’m someone,’ he replied, his voice quivering with amusement.

‘Oh yeah? What’s that mean?’

He hardly seemed to move, but suddenly he was standing next to Theo, still smiling. ‘It means, little one, that I’m here to help.’

‘Well, I don’ need no help!’

‘She’s a fierce one, isn’t she?’ he said, winking at Albert. He seemed on the verge of breaking into laughter.

Theo, needless to say, didn’t seem to share his amusement. ‘You wanna see fierce, fatty? I’ll show you fierce, all right!’

And she charged at him, head down.

And never hit him. One moment Theo was powering forward, inches from the protruding belly, the next he was somehow behind her, grabbing her by the back of her jacket to prevent her momentum from better acquainting her with the wall in front of her. How he had got there Albert had no idea.

Theo was understandably upset at this sudden exhibition of slipperiness by what had until now seemed like easy prey. ‘Leggo! Leggo!’ she roared, turning to try and kick him. She put her heart into the enterprise too, except, again, the fat man evaded every blow, the sound of his constant chuckling seeming to bounce off the furniture, so loudly did it reverberate through the room.

Albert watched, bemused, unsure of whether he should go to Theo’s rescue or berate her, however mildly, for the wanton act of aggression. Which would be like chastizing a vending machine for vending.

Luckily for him, June made the decision. ‘All right! That’s enough, now! Settle down, all of you!’

‘He started it! I was talkin’ to Mac here! What’s he wanna come buttin’ in fer, huh?’

‘Yes, all right,’ June said, disentangling Theo from her still-amused captor. ‘But come with me now. I need you to help me with something.’

‘That’s right,’ said the man approvingly. ‘Always best to make sure.’

Whether she had said it to expedite matters or out of a genuine need for assistance, Albert wasn’t sure, but it worked. Theo stopped, mid-kick. ‘Where? I’m not—’

This time the fat man did laugh—a rich, roiling laugh that seemed to come all the way from his stomach.