‘Head, the law doesn’t exactly say that it has to be—’

‘Stuff and nonsense!’

‘See—’

‘Tosh!’

‘But—’

‘Balderdash!’

‘If you’ll—’

‘Hogwash!’

‘Just—’

‘Rot! Utter rot! Petition against a machine indeed! Lunacy! Call it off immediately.’

Albert sighed. In his hurry to lay down his ultimatum, the man wasn’t even listening to him.

The Head harrumphed, jowls wobbling vigorously, as if to drive the point home. ‘What you moaning about for? Humph! Call it off. Or there will be consequences.’

Albert noticed the threatening note that was gradually creeping into the voice. The butter was turning rancid. He decided to be placatory. Maybe that way he could get a word in. ‘Look, Head, I get what you’re telling me. But—’

‘So you’ll call it off?’ Even the natural sluggishness of the tone couldn’t conceal the sudden note of eagerness. The jowls waggled even more furiously.

Albert stared at him. Something was off. All the man was interested in was getting him to say yes. For all his bluster, the Head was nervous. But why? ‘May I speak, Head?’ he asked quietly.

The jowls waggled at him again. Albert took that to mean yes.

‘According to the law, Head, I have done nothing illegal—’

‘Doesn’t matter! It’s highly irregular!’

‘But it’s not illegal.’

‘So? You think you have something to prove, do you?’

‘No. It’s just—’

‘What are you playing at, anyway? Filing brainless petitions! You think you can play the fool in my Department, eh? Eh? Eh?’

Albert looked up at the screen. Something didn’t make sense. What was bothering the man so much? It wasn’t like him to suddenly take interest in what the citizens at the Department were doing—for all the involvement he showed with their lives, there might as well not have been any. And it wasn’t like anyone had ever cared about citizen’s petitions. Or even kept track of them. Which wasn’t surprising—dozens of them were filed every day, if not more, so many that it sometimes took close to two weeks to know what had happened to one. Even Justice Machines could only work so fast.

All this while the Head had been speaking. ‘… and you’ll call it off now and that’s that. Harrumph.’

Albert swallowed and cleared his throat. ‘I will think about what you’ve told me, Head.’

‘Think? Nobody’s asking you to think, boy! Call it off, that’s all!’

He drew himself up, very straight, looking steadily at the face on the screen. ‘I will think about it, Head,’ he said quietly. Although he was both polite and respectful and had made it a point to be so, the message was clear.

The tiny eyes widened slightly and then flashed angrily. A rosy wave spread slowly across the screen as the fat man flushed. ‘Best think quick then, 3481,’ he said balefully. ‘Or there will be repercussions.’