The fella, whoever he was, clung on for dear life. Then there was a tearing sound as his boot caught on the sandbag and the contents began to drizzle out across the stage. Someone else shrieked at this new development. We all knew what it meant. As the sand ran out, so did the chump’s best means of staying on the rope!

The curly haired Acrobat then swung, literally, into action. Manoeuvring to hang by his feet, he sent his trapeze sailing towards the stranded fella – stretching out his muscly arms to catch him. He swooped towards the stranded chap, who kept one hand clinging to the rope then reached out the other towards the Acrobat.

Their fingers almost touched …

Almost.

We all gasped. This was even better than the acts what went before!

But they didn’t quite make it. The two fellas’ outstretched fingers remained tantalising inches apart. Curly Hair swung back the way he’d come and the audience groaned. More sand spilled to the stage. The fella’s grip on the rope slackened.

Now the second Acrobat did his stuff – but this time he gripped onto the trapeze with his hands and splayed out his massive long legs, the muscles bulging like cantaloupes in his pink tights, to catch the poor unfortunate who was hanging by a thread. Big Thighs opened and closed his lallies like a pair of scissors and nodded to the man, reassuringly, as if to say, ‘I’ll catch you!’

As the last of the sand tumbled out, the stranded fella carried the momentum of his rope towards Big Thighs – and hurled himself into the embrace of his saviour’s legs!

We all ‘ooohed’ and ‘aaahed’ as the fella and the Acrobat swung back and forth, the fella clinging onto his rescuer’s thighs in the sort of arrangement I’d only previously seen in private photographic displays.

Quick as a flash, Curly Hair called down to his tumbling pals on stage and, with whoops and hollers, they began to assemble themselves into a human pyramid! In the blink of an eye, they had formed a great, tottering mountain of biceps and straining calves. Curly Hair lowered himself from the trapeze and took his place at the top of the human pyramid, arms outstretched, ready to catch the dangling bloke above.

The crowd was totally hushed as, with perfect precision, Big Thighs let the fella slide gently down his legs – hand over hand – and onto the shoulders of his pal Curly Hair below.

For a moment, the fella stood there in triumph at the apex of the pyramid, grinning like an idiot, his glossy hair shining in the limelight. The crowed went crackers. Then his ankles began to wobble.

Curly Hair clasped his hand around the fella’s booted shins to steady him –