‘Is this the life for you? Is this what you wanted from your life?’

Anshu was silent for a few seconds, trying to grasp the purpose of his question. ‘I have not accepted anything, Arya, of my own accord. I did not have to reason out what was proper or improper. It is all the doing of fate.’

‘Fate?’ Marish sat up. ‘Devi, to speak of fate is nothing but an admission of helplessness.’

‘Yes, Arya, it is helplessness,’ Anshu admitted.

‘Fate means lack of fortitude,’ Marish said again.

‘Yes, Arya, it is a lack of fortitude,’ Anshu admitted again.

Marish did not know what to say. ‘But that means you have no wish to change anything, you want to make no effort to have any kind of life,’ Marish said intently, after a moment’s thought.

Anshu was not put out by the remark. Her eyes, with their pupils flecked with blue, looked squarely into Marish’s, ‘No, Arya, I made all possible efforts and endeavours. I strained to my utmost capacity, and it was when I realized my inability to control things that I admitted my helplessness.’

‘Lady, effort and endeavour are natural functions of life. As long as life is in you, it is only natural to keep on trying.’ Marish’s voice was no longer agitated and provocative, but low and persuasive. ‘The disappointment in your attempts at one stage of your life cannot decide things for the rest of it. The other end of life is never visible; life is limitless. Why should we, then, put limits to our efforts and striving? To admit one’s lack of strength means to give up, to lose interest in living.’

Anshu lowered her eyes as she heard the ring of sympathy in Marish’s voice. ‘Arya, it was this very impulse that led me to venture into the unknown. I knew that my way would be difficult. Yet I went on, till at last I found that I was lacking in the necessary strength.’ She heaved a deep sigh. ‘Whatever had to happen has happened. Why should I worry now? Why have any regrets? The wise ones say that hope and desire are at the root of suffering. I found it so, too.’

Anshu’s despondency pained Marish even more. ‘Nothing much has happened. Whatever did happen, affected only a period of your life. As long as there is life, there is a possibility of change in it, and consequently, of effort too.’ To emphasize his point, he looked deep into Anshu’s eyes as he said, ‘Divya, life is limitless and so is a person’s capability.’

At the utterance of her name—Divya—Anshu’s whole body trembled. ‘Arya, the proud great-granddaughter of the Chief Justice is dead,’ she said, trying to suppress her agitation. ‘In her dead body, Anshumala is passing the rest of her days, as a dancer–courtesan who earns a living by her art. I am deeply obliged to you for your kind sympathy.’

‘I am not saying this merely out of sympathy,’ Marish said, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.