"But—" Paks felt ready to burst with the unfairness of it. She had been trapped, alone, captive, far underground—she had fought against many enemies and her own fear, to survive—and now they said she should never have touched a weapon. I'm a fighter, after all, she told herself. What should I have done—let them kill me without lifting a hand? Bitterness sharpened her voice. "I thought Gird would approve—fighting against odds like that."

"Gird does not care for odds, but for right and wrong." Fallis sounded almost angry. "That's what we're trying to—"

"Then should I have stood there like a trussed sheep and let them cut my throat?" Paks interrupted, angry enough now to say what she felt. "Would you have been happier to find my corpse? By—by the gods, I thought Gird was a warrior's patron, in any fight against evil, and I did my best to fight. It's easy for you to say what I should and shouldn't have done, but you were safe in the sunlight, while I—"

"Paks!" Amberion's voice, and his hand on her arm, stopped her. "Paks, please listen. We know you had little choice; we are not condemning you. You are not a paladin. We do not expect such wisdom from you. And now you are still weak and recovering from your injuries. We shouldn't have told you our worries, I suppose, but we did. I think myself that you will be all right when your wounds heal, and you have rested. Eat well tonight, and sleep; tomorrow we need to move camp again, and be on our way."

Paks stared at him, still a little angry, but appalled at her own words when she remembered them. Had she really spoken that way to a paladin and a High Marshal? "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I—I don't know what—"

"Anyone," said Amberion firmly, "anyone, coming from such an ordeal, would be irritable. Can you walk as far as the fire to eat, or shall we bring food here?"

"I'll try." Paks was able to stand with Amberion's help, and made it to the fire, walking stiffly but alone. She said little to the others, concentrating on her own bowl of food. Master Balkon eyed her from across the fire, but said nothing. She wondered how much the others knew. She felt empty and sore inside, as if she had been crying for a long time.