I want to get up and go over to him, but his body language is so unfamiliar: shoulders hunched, elbows on his knees, cap pulled so low over his brow I can’t even see his eyes. It’s like seeing the Finn from weeks ago. When he was just some stranger I’d married. “Finn, I’m sorry. I didn’t keep it from you because of you. I just...”

He shakes his head, sighing. Finally, after what feels like forever he says, “I... understand what you’re feeling—how hard it is to go through this. How protective you feel of your family. And... I don’t know, thinking it over, I realize I might have done the same thing if this was all happening to me now. All this, it just surprised me, that’s all.”

“I’m sure.”

“I mean,” he starts, looking up at me, his expression anxious. “Are you okay?”

“Yes and no.”

Silence fills the room for a long, painful minute. I don’t know what else to say. It seems like it would be a good time to finally talk about what is going on with my mom, to update him on everything, but the mood is all wrong. I don’t want to force him to be tender with me right now, and I certainly don’t feel like talking about it if he’s going to continue to be distant and silent.

I slip from the couch and crawl across the floor, letting an unsure smile appear on my lips.

“Hey,” I say, putting my hands on his knees.

He watches me for a moment, swallowing thickly.

“Hey, baby,” he whispers finally, spreading his legs to make room for me. I slide my hands up his thighs, his stomach, his chest, pulling myself up his body until I can press a little kiss to his frowning mouth.

“I don’t like that this is a thing between us,” I tell him and follow it with another kiss. “I was planning on talking to you about it soon, probably even today, but last night I just wanted it to be us.”

He nods. “I know.”

Slowly, under my tiny, sucking kisses he starts to unwind, and I feel his hands move up my sides and down my back.

“It’s just a thing for me, okay? What you’re going through with your mom was a big thing in my life. Easily the biggest. If we’re doing this...”

After I realize he’s just going to leave the sentence like that, I say, “I promise I’ll talk to you. I need someone to talk to.”

“Okay.”

Our kisses are short and soft; Finn gives me only the tiniest tip of his tongue to wet my lips against his. His hand slides back around to my front and down between my legs, cupping me over my denim cutoffs.

I wince a little, shying away from his firm grip.