“What’s this?” I asked, trying and failing to sound even slightly enthusiastic.

He looked back at me from the stove, smiled. “Waffles. Bacon. Eggs. And there’s blood in the fridge. You didn’t eat much yesterday. I thought you might be hungry.”

That he’d taken the time to ensure I ate even as he was grieving warmed me up a little.

“Come here,” he said, and opened his arms. “Just take it one night at a time. One hour at a time. That’s how you’ll figure out how to bring Cadogan back.”

I looked up at him. “What will you be doing?”

“Trying to hold the Pack together.”

“How can I help?” I asked, since we hadn’t talked about it yet.

Something seemed to blossom in his eyes, and he lowered his forehead to mine. “I don’t think you can. And I’m afraid I can’t, either. The Pack is scared. Furious. Pissed at the demon. Pissed at me because I didn’t stop it. Pissed at vampires because it happened on their watch.”

“And the interlopers?”

“They were surprisingly quiet,” he said. “Maybe felt some actual concern that their Apex was gone. But more likely just planning their next move.”

“How . . . vampiric.”

He made a sound that might have been a chuckle but stood there for a moment. I rubbed his arms, trying to soothe him, and could feel the tight tension in his muscles.

“You can let it out,” I said. “It’s just us right now.”

He shook his head, a lock of hair curling over his forehead. “If I put down this weight,” he said, “I’m not sure if I can pick it up again.”

I knew what it cost him to make that admission, even to me.

“The world needs to change,” I said quietly.

He looked down at me, tugged on a lock of my hair. “We’ll change it when we’re in charge. But we aren’t in charge yet.”

* * *

I ate, less because of the enjoyment of food than because I knew I’d need the energy. I’d either be fighting a demon or hunting one, and that was going to require every skill at my disposal. I added two bottles of blood and was feeling nearly (un)human again.

I was cleaning up—it seemed only fair given he’d done the cooking—when Connor’s screen rang.

“Alexei,” he said. “What’s up?”

I hadn’t even known he’d left the town house. I’d assumed he was still asleep upstairs.

Alexei must have requested Connor put him on speaker, as Connor swiped the screen, and Alexei began talking. “Lulu left the town house a couple of hours ago. She was crying. I don’t think she slept last night.”

I didn’t know she’d left, either, and I really didn’t like the sound of this. “Do you know where she went?”

“Yes, I followed her in an Auto. She was crying,” Alexei said again, as if that fully explained and justified his behavior. And maybe it did. “She rode around for a while in an Auto. And then she went to the fairy castle.”