She lowered her eyelids, turning up the heat and gently parodying herself at the same time. “The most expressive eyes since the young Barbara Bel Geddes, you used to say.”

“You’ve remembered a lot.”

“No, I haven’t, actually. I really don’t remember much of anything. Just things, you know? …” She reached for his hand. “We can hold hands, can’t we?”

He really didn’t want to, but he didn’t want to deal with the trouble following saying no. He remembered that well enough. She would go off on a tangent, then come back to the issue, nasty about it. She said, “Do you know, before I came here, I seduced my high school boyfriend. I looked him up. He was married, too. His dick was too big. Want to do it? We can see if we were doing it right.”

“I think I’d better go.”

“No!” Maryellen got up. “Wait. I have something to show you. Don’t go. Don’t embarrass me in front of Ann Elizabeth. You’ve been here only a few minutes.” She ran back to the bedroom. He asked himself if he should step outside anyway. It was almost two o’clock. They could continue to talk. Where was the embarrassment? Being where other people could see the real her always took Maryellen down a notch. She returned cuddling a stuffed bear. Under her arm was a slim, leather-bound book. “It was stupid, telling you about the list. You’re one of the people—Sometimes I hear your voice, you know. I know it isn’t you. But I hear you.” She glanced at the bear. “This is my baby. Best kind of baby to have—I can leave him alone whenever I want to go out and fuck.” She hugged it with the affection some people have for pets. “Not going to grow up and kick the shit out of me for it, either. I’m going to get it someday, I know. I’m going to have to answer.” Now she looked at Devlin. “See, that’s an example.”

“Of what?”

“What I said before.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

She growled in exasperation.” You! You’ve been getting me to say things I didn’t want to, that I didn’t want you to know. Or anybody. You’re getting me to tell my deepest secrets.” Tears came to her eyes again. “Do you hate me? I didn’t want you to know the truth about me. Ann Elizabeth didn’t ask me if you could come up. I would have wanted to think about it awhile. Ann Elizabeth certainly has her own problems. Why did she do this?”

“What problems?”