“Unbelievable … you’re enjoying this. You think you’re the Shroud and the evil villain has you trapped in his secret lair.”

“Well, isn’t that exactly what happened?”

“I hate you,” said Javier, turning away again. “So much.”

Virgil sighed. “I’m not delusional, you know. I don’t think I’m the Shroud. But on some level … this is nice. Nostalgic.”

“We’re about to die,” said Javier, “and I’m chained up in a basement with the lunatic who ruined my life.”

Virgil blinked. “You really think I ruined your life?”

“Goat-molesters don’t get the girl.”

“I said I was sorry. I didn’t know it’d have such a … Anyway. I’m sorry. Again. But we’re not going to die, Javier. I’ll get us out of this.”

“You?” Javier said, almost laughed.

“I have a plan, okay? When he comes back and takes the chains off, you fake a heart attack. Then I’ll grab him from behind. Amber said he’s vulnerable when he’s Oscar Moreno, right?”

“He’ll still be strong enough to throw the two of us around the place.”

“I’m not going to let him kill you, Javier. It’s because of me that you’re here. You should be … you should be back in the retirement home. You should be safe.”

“I should be.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“At the retirement home, I’m on a schedule. Things are predictable there. I’ve come to crave predictability as I’ve gotten older. It’s nice and reassuring. I eat and I sleep and I talk to people and I take my pills and I … and I wait for the inevitable …”

Virgil frowned. “Enemas?”

“Death.”

“Oh.”

Javier didn’t turn – he just sat there with his back to Virgil. “I think about death a lot. Especially lately. Especially since I met you again.”

“Sorry about that.”

“All this has made me wonder. Deals with the Devil. The Devil is real? So is God real? Do I have to start believing in God now?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You don’t believe in God?”

“What, just because I’m Latino I should believe in God? I should be a good Catholic? But that’s another thing! Which branch of Christianity is the right one? Please don’t tell me I have to be a Mormon. What are Baptists like? Or Presbyterians? And is this God the only God? What about other religions? Are they real, too? Do I have to start worshipping an elephant now?”

Virgil frowned. “Who worships elephants?”

“Don’t the Hindus? Isn’t their god an elephant?”

“You’re thinking of Ganesha.”