I trailed off as I glanced up at him, seeing that same blank expression. It’s about support. Having someone to talk to. A shoulder to cry on if I need it. Because I might look okay right now, but I’m not. I’m really not. And you don’t see that. You’re just relieved that I’m not collapsing in tears on the sidewalk.

“I would like to call Ricky,” I said, slowly and firmly.

“I can’t stop you, but I don’t see the point, unless you’re trying to antagonize Don. I have no idea what the Saints are doing—the less I know, the better—but Ricky is very concerned about the situation with James. If he didn’t feel he needed to handle this with the club, he’d be with you. You don’t need to call him, so you shouldn’t.”

I stared at him. He frowned back.

You don’t get it. You can’t get it.

I started toward the rental car without another word.

—

I wished I had more gum. My jaw ached from chewing that entire package, and I think my stomach would have revolted at the merest hint of spearmint, but I desperately wanted something, anything, to do. Also, I wanted a drink. Maybe three. As we stopped at a light, Gabriel caught me glancing longingly at a bar.

“Would you like . . . ?”

I turned away quickly. “No, I’m fine.”

He continued driving, and I tried to relax. My fingers itched to pick up my phone and text Ricky, but Gabriel was right. We were going to the cabin tomorrow. I could wait.

When the car stopped, Gabriel’s door clicked open and I looked about, but the only open shop I could see was a corner store. When Gabriel indicated I should get out, I shook my head.

“I’ll wait,” I said. “Oh, but if you could grab gum to replace Lydia’s . . .”

He frowned. Then he noticed the corner store. He pointed farther down the road. I could make out flashes of neon and a crowd on the sidewalk. When I put down my window, I caught the thump of music.

“I don’t need a drink.”

“Yes, but you’d like one. Come on.”

—

I’m partial to small pubs, though I’ll make an exception for a good blues bar. Quiet—that’s the key. This place had nineties pop music cranked so loud I could feel my fillings quivering.

Gabriel paused at the entrance and peered back down the street, as if expecting other options to miraculously appear.