“Of course I do,” Gabriel said. “What good would it do her to leave now? This isn’t a civil suit. The charges can’t be withdrawn.”

“I—I’m going to step out,” I said, getting to my feet. “I need some air.”

“I’ll go with you,” Ricky said.

“No. Please. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Gabriel said, “You shouldn’t be wandering about on your own.”

“Why not?” I said. “No one’s stalking me now. James is dead.”

I shoved my chair aside and made my escape.

—

I sat in the coffee shop with an untouched black coffee, lost in my thoughts.

“You said a few minutes. I gave you twenty.” Ricky leaned forward to look in my mug as he sat. “They don’t have mocha?”

“I didn’t feel like one.”

He nodded and left and returned with a coffee and a cookie. He put the cookie in the middle of the table. “For whenever you do feel like it.”

I looked at him, at the smile on his lips belying the worry in his eyes, and I thought, How did I get so lucky? Also, How the hell can I keep screwing up the life of a guy like this?

“Your dad was right to be worried,” I said. “He thought I’d be trouble for you, and I am. I should go away for a while. The situation keeps getting worse—”

“I pursued you, knowing your life isn’t exactly sunshine and roses right now. I wasn’t coerced or seduced, and I’m insulted at the insinuation I’m not mature enough to make my own choices. No one made me go after James that night. I’m responsible for what happened. Fucking harsh lesson, but it’s still mine to learn.”

“I—”

“Yeah, you don’t need this shit when you’re already kicking yourself. But that’s exactly why you need it. Reassurances aren’t helping. So I’ll be a dick and say that if you run off to protect me, we’re through. Also, I love you.”

“Wh-what?”

“Yes, I know, it seems like a completely inappropriate time to say it. But if I say it before sex or after sex or, worse, during sex, then it could seem like I’m caught up in the moment. Endorphins and all that shit. If I say it now, when I’m pissed off, obviously I mean it.”

“Unless you’re saying it so I’d feel even worse if I did leave.”

“There’s that, too.”

I laughed. He pulled his chair in so that our knees touched as he leaned across the table.

“Both Gabriel and I are grown men, capable of making our own choices. Plus, Gabriel is an asshole.”

I choked on another laugh.