"I've changed," Susan said. "Not just the vampire thing. There's a lot that's been happening in my life. A lot of things that I didn't know."

"Like what?"

"How dangerous the world is, for one," she said. "I wound up in Peru , but I went all over South America, Central America . I couldn't have imagined what things are like there. Harry, the Red Court is everywhere. There are whole villages out in the country supporting groups of them. Like cattle bred for the lord of the manor. The vampires feed on everyone. Addict them all." Her voice hardened. "Even the children."

My stomach twitched unpleasantly. "I hadn't ever heard that."

"Not many know."

I mopped a hand over my face. "God. Kids."

"I want to help. To do something. I've found where I can help down there, Harry. A job. I'm going to take it."

Something in my chest hurt, a literal pain. "I thought this was our decision."

"I'm coming to that," she said.

I nodded. "Okay."

She slipped to the floor next to me and said, "You could come with me."

Go with her. Leave Chicago . Leave Murphy, the Alphas, Michael. Leave a horde of problems-many of them ones I'd created for myself. I thought of packing up and heading out. Maybe fighting the good fight. Being loved again, held again. God, I wanted that.

But people would get hurt. Friends. Others who might be in my kind of danger and have no one to turn to.

I looked into Susan's eyes and saw hope there for just a moment. Then understanding. She smiled, but it was somehow sadder than ever. "Susan-" I said.

She pressed a finger to my lips and blinked back tears. "I know."

And then I understood. She knew because she was feeling the same way.

There are things you can't walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward.

"Now do you understand?" she asked.

I nodded, but my voice came out rough. "Wouldn't be fair. Not to either of us," I said. "Not being together. Both of us hurting."

Susan leaned her shoulder against mine and nodded. I put my arm around her.

"Maybe someday things will change," I said.

"Maybe someday," she agreed. "I love you. I never stopped loving you, Harry."

"Yeah," I said. I choked on the end of the word, and the fire went blurry. "I love you too. Dammit." We sat there and warmed up in front of the fire for a couple of minutes before I said, "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," she said.

"With Martin?"

She nodded. "He's a coworker. He's helping me move, watching my back. I have to put everything in order here. Pack some things from the apartment."

"What kind of work?"

"Pretty much the same kind. Investigate and report. Only I report to a boss instead of to readers." She sighed and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you anything else about it."