“I was wondering how you were going to punish me for not confiding in you. Punishment, actually, is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. What form of punishment is enough for what I did? Imprisonment? Death? Something else? Something scarier? I could only think of so many horrible tortures before they stopped having meaning. But you, you’ve come up with a punishment I never considered. You’re going to sulk me to death.”

“I’m glad you find this amusing.”

“I’ve had years to see the funny side.”

“What do you expect me to do? It’s not the… This isn’t about the Vile thing. Yes, it’s awful, yes, it’s insane, but OK, it happened, it’s in the past.”

“Not as in the past as we’d like.”

“Shut up.”

“Of course. You were saying?”

“This is about you and me, and you not telling me the truth. It’s about—”

“May I interject?”

“No.”

“I’m going to interject anyway, simply to point out that you only told me about the ‘Darquesse thing’ after you had Nye seal your true name. You may continue.”

She turned over, and glared at him. “That was different.”

“Yes, it was. It was you.”

“I kept it from you because I was scared and confused and I didn’t know how you’d react…” She faltered. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking the things we didn’t tell each other cancel each other out. You’re thinking if I keep on being angry with you, I’ll eventually realise that I don’t have a leg to stand on, and start to feel stupid. Well, you’re wrong. I do have a leg to stand on. And I never feel stupid.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“You should have told me about Vile.”

“And you should have told me about Darquesse. And please remember that when you did, eventually, get around to telling me, I accepted it with grace and understanding.”

Valkyrie narrowed her eyes. “Because you knew what it was like. That’s why you took it so well! I thought you were just being really nice!”

“I’m often nice, but rarely really. I couldn’t be angry with you, Valkyrie. I am many things, but I am not a hypocrite. Are you?”

“That isn’t fair.”

“Are you?”

She sighed, and sat up, holding the sheet against her. “OK. Fine. I forgive you. And now that we’re confessing, is there anything else you’d like to tell me? Any other huge big massive secrets you’ve been hiding?”

“Virtually none.”

“Virtually?”

“Practically. And you?”

“Being the psycho who kills the world is the only one worth mentioning.”

“Excellent. Then our consciences are clear.”

“Is that it? Do we go back to being friends now?”

“I certainly hope so. Unless you were enjoying sulking?”