I didn’t lie when I told Macon I needed rest. Well, rest and wallowing. As soon as he’s gone, I tuck into a quart of coffee fudge ice cream that I hid beneath a bag of frozen peas, knowing that Macon hates peas and would never think to look behind them. Yes, I’ve become that chef, managing her client’s diet even when not around. Bah.

Bitterness coats my tongue, and I can’t blame the ice cream. Tossing the empty carton into the kitchen trash and cleaning off my spoon, I find myself at a loss of what to do next. I’ve slept too long, and the house is too empty. Outside is a wall of darkness, and the lights in the kitchen reflect my face back to me in the window. I look tired and puffy. And there is a zit on my chin.

“Lovely,” I mutter, instantly wanting to mess with the thing. Determined to rally, I march to my room, slather on a pore-tightening mask, and take a long hot shower. Bundled up in my robe, I put out an SOS call to my friends.

In high school, I used to think I’d get out of my small town, find my people, and fall into a glamorous life similar to Sex and the City. Didn’t happen that way. I made friends, but over the years those relationships have changed. People move away, get married, get mired in their careers. Some are even having kids now. Which all means there’s little time for hanging out in bars, and I talk to friends less and less.

Now, I’m starved for some conversation, anything to get my mind off things. Predictably, some friends are busy—it’s Friday night, after all—but Jia answers, asking me to come visit her and Jose at their restaurant. They are two of my favorite people, and the thought of hanging out with them gives me a boost of energy needed to get dressed.

Before I head out, I sit on the edge of my bed and pick up my phone. No messages. Why would there be?

Macon won’t text; he’s on a date.

Good.

Great.

Wonderful.

Loneliness washes over me with such stunning force I actually suck in a sharp breath as though it might drown me. The backs of my eyelids prickle with uncomfortable heat. I take another quick breath and find myself texting, even though I know it’s useless.