Owen grimaced. He reached out and touched one of the brown briars wrapped around the weeping willow, sliding his thumb over one of the thorns. It was several seconds before he finally spoke.

“I don’t blame you for Salina’s death. You did what you thought needed to be done.”

“But you didn’t agree with it then,” I said. “And you still don’t now.”

He sighed, looking as sad and tired as I felt. “Like I told you before, everything’s all mixed-up inside me right now. You, Salina, how I feel about her death and your part in it. I keep going over it again and again in my head, wondering if I could have done something different, if I could have changed things. But I can’t see how I could have, other than waking up and realizing what Salina was really like when we were young. But I didn’t see the real her, and now she’s dead. I can’t change any of that, and I haven’t sorted any of it out. Not really.”

It was a shortened version of the same speech Owen had given me at the Pork Pit a few weeks ago, when he’d told me that he needed some time to himself. I’d hoped that tonight’s events, that the danger and emotions we’d shared, had meant that he’d come to terms with at least some of his issues. But he hadn’t, and I didn’t know if he ever would.

“Jillian was a friend,” he continued. “But I wasn’t one to her. Not really. Because I didn’t even realize that she wasn’t in the rotunda with the rest of us. When Clementine threw that body down, and I thought it was you . . . I couldn’t think about anything else but you being dead. I always seem to let down the people I care about. Eva, Phillip, Cooper, you. I let you all down because of Salina. And tonight, I didn’t even notice that Jillian was missing. Some friend that makes me, huh?”

Owen barked out a harsh laugh, his face twisting with guilt and misery.

“And that kiss you laid on me in the vault?” I asked.

He didn’t look at me. Instead, he pressed his thumb into the thorn, drawing a bit of blood, pain etching lines in his sweaty, rugged, soot-streaked face. “I was just so glad that you were alive, Gin. I will always be glad for that, no matter what.”

Despite the fact that I’d killed Salina. That’s what it seemed like he really meant. But I couldn’t blame him for his feelings. He’d loved her once, and I’d cut her throat even though he’d asked me not to. It wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you got over easily, if ever.