“I don’t know,” I said. “There are things I almost love about him, and things about him that scare the hell out of me. And I really . . . you know . . . want him. But he pulls tricks for what he says is my own good. I believe he cares about me. But he cares about himself mostly.” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m babbling.”

“This is why I married JB,” she said. “So I wouldn’t have to worry about shit like this.” She nodded, confirming her own good decision.

“Well, you’ve taken him, so I can’t do that,” I said. I tried to smile. Marriage to someone as simple as JB sounded really relaxing. But was marriage supposed to be like settling back in a La-Z-Boy? At least spending time with Eric is never boring, I thought. Sweet as he was, JB had a finite capacity for entertaining conversation.

Plus, Tara was always going to have to be in charge. Tara was no fool, and she’d never be blinded by love. Other things, maybe, but not love. I knew Tara clearly understood the rules of her marriage to JB, and she didn’t seem to mind. For her, being the navigator/captain was a comforting and empowering role. I definitely liked to be in charge of my own life—I didn’t want anyone owning me—but my concept of marriage was more in the nature of a democratic partnership.

“So, let me summarize,” Tara said in a good imitation of one of our high school teachers. “You and Eric have done the nasty in the past.”

I nodded. Boy howdy, had we.

“Now the whole vampire organization owes you for some service you performed. I don’t want to know what it was, and I don’t want to know why you did it.”

I nodded again.

“Also, Eric more or less owns a piece of you because of this blood-bond thing. Which he didn’t necessarily plan out in advance, to give him credit.”

“Yep.”

“And now he’s maneuvered you into the position of being his fiancée? His wife? But you didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Right.”

“And Sam called you idiotic because you obeyed Eric.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, he did.”