“Stay here,” he said. “And don’t move until I come back. That’s an order.” Then I heard him striding back downstairs, calling for Lady Anne.

“What is it? What’s happened? John? Is John all right?” A frown of worry appeared on Margery’s tranquil brow. I nodded reassurance. John, I supposed, was still up in the west paddock, busy plowing. Margery led me over to the fire, sat me down, put a cup of mead into my hand. I found I was shaking, and my feelings were so confused I could not rightly have explained them, even if I had words.

Johnny was in his cradle, but awake. I saw his tiny hands flailing in the air and heard his voice trying out small sounds one after another. She bent to pick him up, her hand cupped gently around his bald head. She laid him against her shoulder and sat down opposite me.

“Drink it,” she said. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re white as a sheet, and Red doesn’t look much better. I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.”

At that point the door slammed open and shut again, and Red took two strides across the room and lifted me out of my chair, his big hands tight on my shoulders. I had never heard him raise his voice since we came to Harrowfield. Now he was shouting.

“How dare you!” He shook me, hard. “How dare you disobey me thus! You gave me your word! Does it take something like this to show you how stupid you are? What were you thinking of?”

Johnny began to wail, and Margery said to Red, rather severely, “You’re hurting her.”

Red swore, and let go, and turned his back, both hands on the mantel shelf. I touched the places where he had held me. I would have bruises again. I had never seen him so angry. Not even when he argued with his mother the night Johnny was born.

“Sorry,” he said under his breath. “I’m sorry. But what on earth possessed you to go out alone like that? I thought I explained. I thought you knew the risks. By God, if—did he touch you? Did he hurt you?” He was pacing up and down now, looking back to examine my face, staring searchingly into my eyes. Today, his own were the blue of shadows on deep ice.

I shook my head. I would not cry. I would not think of what Lord Richard had said. What other reason could he have for keeping you? I would put it out of my mind. They say you put a spell on him. He can deny you nothing. I would forget it. It was nonsense. I would not cry. I blinked and sniffed, and a single treacherous tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Practical as ever, Red fished around in his pocket and drew out a square of linen. As his hand came close to my face, I could not stop myself flinching back, and my arms came around my body defensively. Red looked as though I had struck him. He turned away, his hand momentarily shielding his eyes as if he did not want me to read his expression. It’s true, I thought. I am a burden. I should never have come here. I have made trouble in this family, and created discord in a peaceful household. He should never have brought me here. And he knows is it.