"I don't know what that is." Jason shook his head, looking like he was torn between laughing and crying. "Do you know what I'm doing right now? I'm going nuts, because I'm completely off-line. I had to leave everything behind because the ship could have tracked it. I can't listen to music or chat or trade vids with people on the other side of the planet or anything. That's what we do. We spend all of our time doing that stuff instead of talking to the people right next to us, the people who know us. I don't know them and they don't know me. How can you find yourself when you're part of an infinite crowd and everybody is yelling?"

Kira tried to grasp what he was saying, but failed. "I don't understand."

"Of course not." Jason made an angry gesture. "You couldn't possibly understand."

"I could try," Kira said.

"Don't bother. It's too complicated. You're not—" He stopped speaking.

"I'm not what?" Kira asked, her own anger flaring again. "Not smart enough? Stupid?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Were you thinking it?"

He shot her a hostile look. "You're not my mother but you're sure sounding like her."

"How dare you mention her and me in the same sentence!" Kira whispered, furious. "You are such a jerk!"

"I know! People tell me that all the time!"

Quiet fell, both of them sitting in self-righteous silence. If the people in the front of the car had noticed the angry, whispered argument they didn't give any sign of it.

Kira watched the open fields go by, feeling guilty and seeing her father's face, knowing what he'd be advising her to do now. Finally she clenched her teeth and forced out the words. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Jason sounded genuinely surprised.

"I'm sorry," Kira repeated. "I shouldn't have called you a jerk."

"Um." He didn't seem to know how to handle her apology. "That's ok— I mean, all right."

"It's not all right," Kira said. "Illusions can have great power, and I have no right to force my negative illusions upon you."

Jason blinked at her as if shocked by her words and her attitude. "Really, it's all right. A lot of people think I'm a jerk."

"That's not all right. You mustn't believe it is."

"Why does that matter to you?"

Kira hesitated. "I don't know. But people can hurt other people or they can help other people, and I don't want to be someone who hurts." She looked down, avoiding his gaze. "You're not a jerk."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

* * *

Time and the landscape passed by for a while with little conversation. The train made occasional stops, a very few people getting off and a lot more getting on. Kira tried to stay awake but found herself drowsing off occasionally. Jason appeared to be lost in thought.