The voicemail picked up. “Hello, you’ve reached Darcy Lorcan, please leave a message. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Maybe sooner if I like you lots.” Her words trailed off with a laugh and the beep sounded. I hung up and called again, just to hear her, just to let her laughter wash over me. Tears streamed down my face as I redialled the number over and over. As much as I wanted to push her situation out of my head, I couldn’t. She was my mom and I loved her as much as I loved Ashling. How was I supposed to choose which one of them to go after?

Finally I left a message after the seventh or eighth time I called her number. “Mom, it’s me. I . . . please call me as soon as you get this . . .there’s something bad I have to tell you.” I choked up, caught my breath and went on, my voice barely above a whisper. “Please don’t be missing. I love you.” I hit the end button and put the phone on the desk.

This far away from where my mother had disappeared there was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes, pinched them shut tight and held my breath for a count of ten. I couldn’t help Ashling if I was worrying about Mom. I let my breath out slowly and with it the thought that I could save them both. I was here; Ashling was closest and I would focus on her. Nothing had changed.

“I’m sorry Mom,” I whispered to the quiet room.

The room’s phone rang, startling me. I picked it up. “Hello?”

“Ms. Lorcan, this is Constable Pollett. I came by to speak with you at the hotel today but you were out.” Finally I left a message after the seventh or eighth time I called her number. “Mom, it’s me. I . . . please call me as soon as you get this . . .there’s something bad I have to tell you.” I choked up, caught my breath and went on, my voice barely above a whisper. “Please don’t be missing. I love you.” I hit the end button and put the phone on the desk.

This far away from where my mother had disappeared there was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes, pinched them shut tight and held my breath for a count of ten. I couldn’t help Ashling if I was worrying about Mom. I let my breath out slowly and with it the thought that I could save them both. I was here; Ashling was closest and I would focus on her. Nothing had changed.

“I’m sorry Mom,” I whispered to the quiet room.

The room’s phone rang, startling me. I picked it up. “Hello?”

“Ms. Lorcan, this is Constable Pollett. I came by to speak with you at the hotel today but you were out.”