Chapters (21)
‘Now I’m speaking the truth. What’s the problem? The family will be thrilled. They’ll revel in it. It’s happened over and over, mother with son, father with daughter. Brother and sister. Two thirds of them are inbreedings of one kind or another, several twice over. A charming little intimate orgy has been going on for centuries. Secret pleasures of the house. And what other values hold you back? The criterion of the church, of morality and the world? It’s nothing to you. Come to me and let me give you what you want.’
‘I don’t want that.’
He put out one hand, long-fingered, bone-pale, feathered lightly with dark hair. The hand moved in slow motion. So slow there was all the time on earth to avoid it, and she was not quick enough, and the hand caught her, behind her neck, the fingers in her hair. A liquid electricity ran down her spine. Her stomach turned to ice and her skull to fire. She could do nothing. ‘Let,’ she said, ‘let me—’
The shadow flung forward and fell upon her with a slow, deep violence.
The eyes had become a jet-black bar that flamed. She tasted his skin, his mouth, cool and unknown. Her eyes shut. She was blind, whirled down and under, turning. Only the pressure of his hand behind her head anchored her in the rushing of the storm.
She had rarely been kissed. Never kissed on the mouth. Never invaded and possessed.
His mouth moved in hers. Her head sank backwards. She let him drown her in the deep water, too weak even to raise her hands to cling to him. Falling and falling through measureless ocean.
When he lifted his mouth, he held her still with his hand.
At first she could not open her eyes.
When she did so the church was a blur of colours and streakings of light. The white faces of saints had grown insane and bloated, their purity profaned.
His face was calm still, only the mouth gave evidence of change, the lips parted.
She turned towards him on the pew and put her hands up and caught his collar. ‘Kiss me again.’
‘Again?’ And he laughed at her like a boy.
He was laughing as he possessed her once more, and the laugh died on the point of a knife.
Her whole body now flowed and spun. She gripped his clothing to hold her up, and plunged fathoms deep, mindless, soaring. She pressed herself to him, dissolving into his flesh, the hardness of him, lost, she was lost. ‘Don’t stop.’
‘Not here,’ he said.
‘Where then?’
‘Where do you think Rachaela.’
‘I don’t care,’ she said. ‘I’ll go with you.’
The car was waiting in a side street.
They went to it and got in.
The driver, oblivious to them, started the engine.