Zeke didn’t speak as she continued shrieking at him.

And for the glorious honor of being bitched at constantly, and the esteemed title of Claims Investigator, he’d given up five years of his life as he went to college, worked three shitty jobs, created a debt his great-grandkids would curse him over, and got the holy honor of MBA. More Bullshit Allowed. Unlike his more intelligent counterparts, he’d actually studied and had graduated with honors, thinking he’d have a bright future.…

Yeah, this was his life and he hated every minute of it.

Well, not every, single minute. But enough that he dreaded what more wondrous developments the future would hold.

Where oh where is that Pink Power Ranger babe who was supposed to kidnap me and make me part of her merry band?

When he’d dreamed of his future, never once had he seen himself sitting in a cube ten hours a day having people yell at him, while he glibly took it for fear of losing his gargantuan thirty-thou-a-year salary.

The highlights of his life? Drinking beer and playing basketball on the weekends with his friends.

Damn, the woman’s right. I am a pathetic idiot.

“Are you even listening to me?” she droned.

“Yes, ma’am. I understand what you’re saying. But there’s no evidence that our driver did that. I have a sworn statement from him that he didn’t hit the mailbox.”

“Fuck you, you stupid bastard!”

“Yes, ma’am. You have a good day, too.”

She slammed the phone down hard enough for it to ring in his ear.

Hanging it up, Zeke groaned before he put his head to his laminated desk and beat it against the cold, granite-looking finish. Maybe I’ll get a concussion.…

The phone rang again.

He lifted his head to glare at Optimus Prime. It was only eleven in the morning. Was it too much to ask for one little brain aneurysm?

Just one.

His stomach churning, he picked the phone up and repeated his work litany.

“Am I speaking to Ezekiel Malachi Jacobson?”

Zeke cringed at the name his grandfather, a devout Baptist preacher, had cursed him, the only grandson, with at birth. God, how he hated hearing all that said at once. It was a name that had gotten his ass kicked on many an occasion at school. It had even caused one college roommate to move out of his dorm room before Zeke arrived.

Really, I’m not an escapee from Children of the Corn. I’ve only thought about mutilating me. Not others.

“That would be me.” God, don’t let this be someone I owe money to.

I did pay all my bills this month?

Right?

“My name is Robert West. I’m the attorney for your granduncle Michael Jacobson.”

Zeke scowled at the unfamiliar name. “Who?”

“He was your grandfather’s youngest brother.”