In a beat, he’s leaning over me, his lips on mine. I don’t even care how I look or smell. His arms wrap around my body and nearly pull me off the bed, and the course texture to his kiss feels like home. I just hope this isn’t some fucked up drug-induced fever dream.

When he pulls away, his hands won’t leave my body, and I can’t stop looking at him. This new Murph, the layers between us shredded. I didn’t just crack open a glimpse of the light for myself, I shattered it.

He sits on my bed as the nurse comes in. She has to clear her throat to interrupt our kissing, and she gives a little laugh as she checks my vitals.

“I’ll send the doctor in, but with any luck, you should be ready to go home in the morning.”

“Home,” I echo, looking back at Murph.

Who knows where or what that is, but with the way he’s holding me, I know I won’t go alone. The rest doesn’t matter.

Under the harsh lights of this hospital room, there is no more hiding. We can’t push it away anymore. Savannah came crashing into my life, and I covered up all of those growing feelings with sex. When my heart wanted to let its guard down around her, I simply pulled off her clothes, burying myself in her body as if it was her soul.

She was a habit to get out of my system.

But as soon as she pulled me close, kissed me like it wasn’t for sex, my chest felt ten tons lighter.

When they released her from the hospital that night, I carried her out instead of letting them put her in a wheelchair. She laughed at me as I put her in the car, careful to buckle her up without hitting her bad arm. I started to worry that being back in the car would resurface bad memories, but she only smiled at me as I crawled into the driver's seat.

The drive back to Hazel’s is quiet. I’ll take her back to my house eventually, but for now, I only want her to focus on healing, not whether or not it’s weird to be in my home.

We didn’t talk much after the nurse walked in with the good news that she could go home. Since then, it was all about final checkups, medications, pharmacies, insurance, bullshit. I was desperate to clear away the distractions and clearly process everything back where we were comfortable.

I don’t bring up the shop again. I wasn’t lying. I couldn’t care less about it. If it’s gone, it’s gone. I’ll start again. Maybe try something new. Maybe try somewhere new.