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Back Dangerous Remedy
Chapters (86)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. Contents
  7. Paris, June 1794
  8. PART ONE
  9. 1
  10. 2
  11. 3
  12. 4
  13. 5
  14. 6
  15. 7
  16. PART TWO
  17. 1
  18. 2
  19. 3
  20. 4
  21. 5
  22. 6
  23. 7
  24. 8
  25. 9
  26. 10
  27. 11
  28. 12
  29. PART THREE
  30. 1
  31. 2
  32. 3
  33. 4
  34. 5
  35. 6
  36. 7
  37. 8
  38. 9
  39. 10
  40. 11
  41. 12
  42. 13
  43. 14
  44. 15
  45. 16
  46. 17
  47. PART FOUR
  48. 1
  49. 2
  50. 3
  51. 4
  52. 5
  53. 6
  54. 7
  55. 8
  56. 9
  57. 10
  58. 11
  59. PART FIVE
  60. 1
  61. 2
  62. 3
  63. 4
  64. 5
  65. 6
  66. 7
  67. PART SIX
  68. 1
  69. 2
  70. 3
  71. 4
  72. 5
  73. 6
  74. 7
  75. 8
  76. 9
  77. 10
  78. 11
  79. 12
  80. 13
  81. 14
  82. Postscript
  83. A Ship in Le Havre Port
  84. Acknowledgements
  85. About the Author
  86. About Zephyr

She wanted to take back the words as soon as she said them. Guil’s expression hardened.

‘Injury is an occupational hazard.’

‘It is if you fling yourself into the path of danger like that!’

‘I did what I thought was best.’

‘I told you not to. I told you to run.’

‘And if I had listened you would be dead.’

‘You don’t know that.’ She knew she sounded like a petulant child and she hated it. She tried again. ‘My life isn’t worth risking yours. I don’t ever want to ask that of you.’

Guil hauled himself upright, wincing as the movement pulled at his stitches. His face was like thunder. Camille had never seen him quite like this.

‘I am not here simply to dispense wisdom and support you in your choices,’ he said. ‘I am part of this because I want to be. I know you think you are responsible for us all, but don’t you dare take my agency from me. This was my choice. I have made bad choices and good choices in this life, but they are my own choices. I thought if anyone you would understand that.’

She licked her lips, searching for the right words. ‘I do. I’m sorry. You’re right, but please take better care of yourself. Not just for my sake – for yours too.’

He took her hand again. ‘Only if you’ll promise me the same thing.’

‘Ah, well. That’s us both doomed, then.’ She squeezed his hand with a smile, then pulled away.

‘Camille…’

‘No, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.’

‘But I want to talk about it. I … care for you. In a way I know you cannot return. I am telling you this because I want you to know that I do not see your friendship as a consolation prize. Your friendship is far more important to me than any fantasy of a different relationship. This life – what we do to help people – that is the prize. I wonder sometimes if the reason I first felt something for you is because I saw a fresh purpose in the battalion. You stood for something I could understand. Perhaps I have been using the battalion for my own ends. Perhaps I have been using you.’

Camille held his gaze, taking in the deep brown of his eyes, the scar that flecked one eyebrow. ‘None of us is perfectly selfless in this.’