Chapters (44)
‘At first I thought it was the moment I’d always dreamed of,’ said Maggie. ‘My daughter had come back to me. But it wasn’t like that at all.’ She looked from Tailby to Cooper. ‘Nothing ever is how you hope it will be, is it? It’s best not to expect anything. It’s best not to hope for too much. Because the worst thing of all is when you have your hopes raised and then dashed again. That is very painful. That can be devastating.’
They gave her a moment to recover, while the tapes recorded the silence.
‘What did Ros want exactly?’ asked Tailby.
‘My daughter saw that she might be able to make use of me.’
‘But in what way?’
‘She needed somewhere to stay, a handy base. That was the way she put it. And my home was much nearer to where she needed to be. Much nearer to Ringham Moor.’
‘Did she tell you what she planned to do?’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘And what was your reaction to that?’
‘Ironically, I think I probably reacted the same way that Jenny Weston did, but more so. I told Ros she was mad, that what she planned to do was criminal and dangerous. We argued terribly. Of course, I said all the wrong things. A lot of stupid things. I expect it’s because I’ve never known how a mother is supposed to behave. I’ve never learned by my mistakes how to deal with a daughter – so I made all the mistakes at once, in one blazing row. I told her I wouldn’t allow her to do it.’
‘I expect she didn’t like you telling her what to do.’
Maggie smiled. ‘That’s rather an understatement. It was obvious she was going to go to Ringham Moor, whatever I said. It became very personal, and all her bitterness poured out. Mine as well, I suppose. But Ros believed that I owed her a great deal. And I found I couldn’t argue with her any more. Because she was right, you see. I owed her more than I could say, for having let her down.’
‘So you allowed yourself to be persuaded . . .’
‘Yes, from that moment, I was lost. I should have stuck to my guns, locked her in the flat . . . anything. I can see that now. But she told me that if I was a real mother I would understand what she was trying to do, that I would support her in the one thing that was most important in her life. That if I was a real mother, I would go with her. She said I was the only one who could help to keep her out of danger. That it was what a mother would do.’
‘And so what did you do?’
‘What could I do?’ Maggie shrugged. ‘I went with her, of course.’