I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see that expression on Samael’s face. He had no right to look at me that way– his killing-spree expression tempered with a kind of reluctant tenderness.

I hadn’t seen it at the time– I’d been too busy staying alive. But watching him on that screen tonight had made my head ache with confusion.

Lia let out a displeased meow as I flipped onto my side again. I’d rescued the kitten from a flooding gutter, and now I spent my few moments of free time fretting over how I was a bad cat mom.

Parenthood, yo.

“Sorry,” I told her. “Don’t blame me. Blame that big, dumb demon.”

I scowled. Ultimately, it didn’t matter how Samael looked at me. He’d refused to remove the bond, and even if he’d left me to my own devices for the past month, the fact remained that if he wanted, he could make me do anything he pleased. That thought hung over my head like a guillotine, ensuring I woke up in a panicked sweat at least a few times each week.

I shouldn’t be thankful that he’d left me alone. His little stunt at the Mage Council tonight had proven that he could change his mind at any time. I felt Samael down the other end of our bond continually. My shields blocked me from most of it, but every minute of every day, I knew he was there, waiting me out.

If he wanted, Samael could order me to do anything he wanted. And like anyone bonded to a demon, I would be forced to obey.

Lia shoved her face against mine. I was hyperventilating, I realized. Panic ripped through my chest and my throat tightened. I sat up in bed and pulled Lia into my arms, stroking her tiny head.

For the past four weeks, I’d researched everything I could about how to kill high demons. I’d found nothing. The demon was playing with me right now. He may be interested in me as a woman, but he’d been alive for longer than I could comprehend. Sooner or later, he would become bored, and the orders would begin. I’d lose all free will and be nothing more than a puppet. I had to find a way to protect myself before that happened.

You don’t want to kill him.

I let out a shaky breath. I didn’t. I could admit that to myself now. But I needed something. I needed a way to protect myself, so Samael would know if he ever truly wielded that bond against me, he was dead.

When I was investigating the demon murders for Samael, the witches had placed a compulsion spell on a high demon, forcing him to attack me. I’d broken his arm and his neck, and he’d still been trying to kill me.