Despite the wine, several decisions were taken that night. In order to win a seat as councillor in the upcoming elections, Inga needed to pull off something magnificent; the election was only six months away. Since she already worked in sustainability, Eva suggested that Inga introduce hydrogen-fuelled public transport. At first, Inga argued that this was too expensive. So Jen mooted the introduction of a free bike scheme: but everyone drove, so uptake was unlikely. How about gifting a compost bin to each household? Boring. We’re going to do it anyway.

‘I want to do things that haven’t been done before,’ Eva said. ‘We need rules around sustainable harvesting from the seas. It’s so male to take out everything and leave nothing behind—’

JUDGE: She thought it was male to over-exploit natural resources?

JEN: [Smiles] That’s right: the theory of human evolution which puts the male hunter at the centre. Rising up on two feet, walking across the world exterminating species; which may indeed be why seventy-five percent of large mammals disappeared from Australia and the Americas soon after humans arrived. However, there is a competing theory of how humans learnt to walk across the globe, which Eva loved: that bipedalism evolved as people foraged, sustainably, along beaches and rivers. Water providing buoyancy, for women especially, with their breasts and subcutaneous fat. Humans share this with dolphins. The only other mammals humans share menopause with, interestingly, are toothed whales. It’s all about transmission of grandmother-knowledge. Post-reproductive female humans and post-reproductive female, er, killer whales and narwhals, I think, being key to the survival of their species.

JUDGE: [Pause] So, you got your hydrogen bus.

JEN: Yes. Then we implemented a marine reserve around the islands. That was a bit triggering for some people, of course. But Eva didn’t care – the year before, a fisherman on Astrid had wiped out the razor clam population of that island by going in with electrodes. Anyway, it was fine because we distracted everyone with our vote-winner in perpetuity: free fuel for the masses. Free electric-charging points, subsidies on buying an electric car, and above all, subsidised heating from wind power. We’ve got loads of free wind here. We needed to use it up—After that, nobody could stop us. We banned plastic packaging. And the sale of chemically-polluting detergents, and pesticides and fertiliser. None of the farmers minded. The hotels complained at first. But then we rebranded the islands, through the tourist office, and visittheislands.com, as Britain’s oldest and most sacred site of female worship. They liked that. It had cachet.