Back Cwen
Chapters (23)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Alice Albinia
  3. Cwen
  4. Copyright Page
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. 0Judge
  8. 1Alice
  9. 2Eva
  10. 3Jen
  11. 4Zoe
  12. 5Inga
  13. 6Mariam
  14. 7Camille
  15. 8Lucija
  16. 9Stella
  17. 10Nina
  18. 11Tara
  19. 12Ruth
  20. 13Women
  21. Judge: Concluding Statements
  22. Note on Sources
  23. Acknowledgements

At the thought of her father, Zoe felt a familiar intermingling of anxiety and love. She had eavesdropped on more than one conversation between her father and her uncles. They had come up, the three of them, without warning Eva. Eva was at college when they got to Her House. But Zoe was there, always hanging on her relatives’ words. George, who had visited earlier in the year too, spent another hour up at the wood, pacing around. And later that afternoon, as Zoe was finishing her essay on why George Eliot took a man’s name, and only called one of her novels (the least popular) after a woman, she heard George’s voice, and Henry’s, clear and authoritative and bossy, and her father’s, coming back muffled, the discomfort evident, below in the hall. Zoe, unseen at the table near the window, forever savouring her relatives’ exotic worlds.

‘When is he up next?’ asked Tara.

‘He’s coming up to the islands soon,’ Zoe said. ‘The weekend after.’

‘Is he?’ said Tara.

‘Are you sure?’ said Stella.

‘Pretty sure,’ Zoe said.

JUDGE: What were you after?

STELLA: What else? Knowledge.

That night in the tent, Zoe asked through the dark, ‘What do you two talk about in Female Bonding?’ For she knew that Tara and Stella had paired up.

‘It’s private,’ Stella said.

‘Do you have boyfriends?’

‘Boyfriends?’ said Stella. ‘Boyfriends? No, I don’t think so.’

Zoe wondered, as she lay there, if she was supposed to know that Stella’s sarcasm was because Tara and she were lesbians, as Pauline and Kath had said, or were ideologically opposed to boyfriends, as seemed likely, or too busy, which was plausible, or because they just had casual sex. She was still wondering these things when she woke in the morning to a bleep, a text from Ravi:

Awake?

She glanced round at the other two. Tara was snoring. Stella was asleep with her arms clutched around her pillow. Zoe unzipped the tent to let out their night-long breath, and to breathe in a stream of wintery fresh air, over her face, into her nostrils and lungs. The air told her how lovely the day already was, and the wood, and these islands, and her friends. Ravi’s tent rustled open. When she looked up, blinking in the sunlight, she could see just the outline of him. He knelt down in a blur.

‘Got to go and help my dad with the house. I left the papers they wanted, and the T-shirts. Blue rucksack, in my tent. I’ll come back to pack up the tent later. OK?’

‘OK,’ Zoe said.

He frowned at her. ‘Don’t let them boss you, all right?’ He lifted her hand to his lips.