One of the al fresco fucks they used to favour was under an oak tree. There was silence, each thinking their own thoughts. It was quite corrupt, she felt, to cut down an old wood for profit, particularly when your job was lecturing other people – other countries even – on the importance of preserving forests. And there it was: the problem with the British. The British type of corruption was just more subtle than the rest. Their corruption had laws to uphold it. ‘All the things you’re saying about British colonialism, you could say for ancient Britain too,’ Seb had said with his infuriating calm in the midst of one of their early discussions about Africa. ‘Only, we don’t complain about the Romans. Or the Vikings. Or the Normans.’

Camille looked out of the window into the street-lamp-lit London night, and saw the ghost of a Roman legion tramping across the lawn. She detested how flippant her husband could be.

Seb filled the empty pasta pot and began to scrub it.

Then:

‘I think my brother George may have money problems.’

JUDGE: Please confirm your full name.

JIM: James Anthony Mills.

JUDGE: You taught geography at Ayrness High.

JIM: I’m asking for my job back, now that Miss Thompson has been suspended.

JUDGE: You recently gave an interview to BBC Look North complaining of the feminist agenda of some of the female teachers there. It’s also something that you mention in your witness statement.

JIM: That’s right. At the time I didn’t know there was an actual agenda but I knew something was up. We were mistreated, the boys and I.

JUDGE: Can you detail some of the things you consider miscarriages of justice?

JIM: Our views were never listened to, in staff meetings. I don’t think the things we said were ever written down. We were interrupted constantly. I’ve put in a Freedom of Information request because I think we were paid less than female members of staff of an equivalent pay grade. It happened with the collusion of the council.

JUDGE: The female staff who you say were paid more, did they have special skills?

JIM: I doubt it. I don’t think so.

JUDGE: And amongst the students?

JIM: The female students tended to avoid me. Other male members of staff would say the same.

JUDGE: Did any male students come to you with complaints of mistreatment, discrimination?

JIM: No, but that’s only because they didn’t realise.

JUDGE: How would you describe the culture among female members of staff? [Pause]

JIM: Yeasty.

PUBLIC GALLERY: [Laughter]