“I’m fine Eve. I just…it’s just a lot going on in my head and I’m just trying to make sense of it all. Believe it or not, these are tears of joy,” Eden admitted.

Somehow, she felt that telling her sister the truth would make her appear like a bad wife. She felt horrible for wanting to prioritize her career over motherhood.

“Tears of joy has you crying those ugly ass tears. What is going on Edy?” Eve asked. She wasn’t buying the tears of joy speech.

“I’m serious. Everything is all good,”

Eve looked skeptical but she wasn’t going to pry. Eden would share what was on her mind when she was ready.

“Come get in the passenger seat. Emotional driving is a recipe for disaster. I’ll drive but you’re still paying,” Eve joked, she knew it would make her sister laugh.

Eden did as she expected. Laughter instantly replaced her tears.

“You’re so crazy with your cheap ass,” Eden laughed while wiping the wetness from her face.

“You were just all smiles twenty minutes ago. Now you’re crying. But I’m crazy. Yeah right,”

“These are tears of joy,” Eden lied. “Jermaine wants me to throw away my birth control. I want that too, at least I thought I wanted that. I’m unsure of what I want. Will I have to give up my job? I would die if I had to leave such a prestigious bank just to be a mom,” Eden cried.

She knew her words sounded selfish, but Rashid Zayed International Banque was not a bank that a person could simply apply to. The company didn’t even post open positions. It was invitation only. When a position needed to be filled, the bank’s internal recruiters would reach out to potential applicants by viewing their employment qualifications via their LinkedIn. Giving up employment with such a prestigious bank seemed like a death sentence.

“Eden,”

“I love what I do. I love having to take a flight to meet some of my clients. I don’t want to change my life or lifestyle. I know that sounds selfish but-”

“But nothing. You are not mommy. The days of being a stay-at-home mom are over. I’m a flight attendant with two kids. My life hasn’t changed. You’re terrified about being a parent and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a new experience and it’s ok if you’re scared.

Between me, Mommy, and my kids, your baby will be well taken care of when you have to work. Calm down everything will be ok,”

Eden wanted to cry all over again. She knew that she would’ve been able to trust Eve with her feelings without judgement. The fact that she doubted their bond made her feel horrible.

“You’re right. I just, I’m just-”

More tears erupted.