Olivia caught her breath at the pain in his voice, a pain she felt in herself. This man she loved was hurting so very much. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. If it’s anyone’s, it’s—”

“No, Simon, it’s not yours,” Olivia said fiercely. “I may not know a lot about depression, but at least I know that.” She stroked his hair, and he closed his eyes.

“What did Bella tell you?”

“Only that you suffered from depression.”

He opened his eyes and looked at her directly. “Did she tell you I was hospitalised?”

“After your brother’s death, yes.”

“Does that scare you off?”

“No,” Olivia answered honestly, “but it scares me a little. Because...because I want to be able to help you, and I don’t know if it’s the sort of thing where I can.”

“You have helped me, Olivia. Being with you...these last few weeks...it made me feel as if I’ve finally beaten this thing...which is why having it come at me again is so...so bloody difficult.” He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. “I know depression doesn’t work that way, that it doesn’t follow a course, and sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason, but I still convince myself that there is. That things will change.”

“I don’t know too much about depression,” Olivia said slowly, “but I do know it’s real, not something you can just make yourself get over, or slap a smile on like a plaster. Be kind to yourself, Simon. Be forgiving.”

“Even though I watched my brother die?” He let out a shuddering sigh. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry about this. Ever.” Olivia spoke the words fiercely, and Simon gave her the barest flicker of a smile.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said in a low voice. “Truly.”

“And you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. This doesn’t change that at all. What kind of person would I be, to only take the good days and not the bad? That’s not...that’s not what love is.”

He turned to look at her, his eyes huge and dark. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” she whispered, her heart beating hard. “I really do.”

“Because I think I love you, Olivia.”

“You only think?” she dared to tease.

“I know, and maybe that’s part of it all. Of this. I’m scared to let you in, to let you see my darkness, especially when we’ve only known each other a short while.”

“And I’ve been scared to let you in,” Olivia admitted with a wobbly laugh. “Because I haven’t let many people into my life. Maybe it has to do with my dad walking out, or maybe it’s just the way I’m wired. But it’s the truth. This is just as scary for me as it is for you, Simon.”

“I’m glad, in a way. I wouldn’t want to be the only one who is struggling, the dead weight in the relationship.”

“You aren’t, I promise.”