Her encounter with George Nicholas kept cutting into her familiar mantra of guilt and shame. It had reminded her that there was a world beyond her self-regard. A world she used to inhabit. A world where people sat round tables and talked together, drank together, laughed together. She’d had a place in that world and she suspected walking away from it was not entirely healthy. She’d deliberately set herself apart so she could begin the process of healing. But how would she know if she was getting any stronger if she lived like a hermit? Reluctantly, she reminded herself she’d tried that once before and it hadn’t been the answer. What had brought her back to life had been engaging with the world.

Maybe it was time to start again.

The closest Carol had ever previously come to a police convalescent home was sticking a twenty in the collection box at social events. She had no idea what to expect. When she’d called Chris’s Police Federation rep to check her whereabouts, she’d half-expected her to be back home. ‘She’s at the convalescent home in Ripon,’ the helpful rep had told her. ‘She’s working with the physios there on her range of movements. Scar management, that sort of thing. They wanted to keep her in hospital longer, but because we were able to provide specialist care, she’s been able to start living a more normal life.’

Carol cringed inwardly at the words, unable to imagine how anyone would begin to cope. ‘Has there been any improvement in her sight, do you know?’

‘I believe not. They’re talking about lining her up with a guide dog. But that’ll be a bit down the road.’

Carol thanked her and ended the call, wondering whether she had the strength for this. But building a bridge between her and Chris was the first step to regaining her humanity. She’d called ahead to ask about visiting times and been told that visitors were expected to leave by nine o’clock. So she’d finished work in the late afternoon, showered the sweat and dirt away and put on one of her business suits for the first time in months. She stretched the process out as long as she could, taking time out for a large glass of cold pinot grigio. Then another. But finally there was nothing for it but to set off across the rolling green landscape to the tiny cathedral city.