I shake my head. “No. Before. I think that’s why he drank too much.” I sigh. “Maybe why he got behind the wheel when he knew he shouldn’t. He’s been different since Max died—more reckless.”

“Must be going around,” she says, so softly that I almost think I misheard her.

I study her for the first time all day. Bethany is a gorgeous redhead with the energy to match, but today she looks tired. “What do you mean? Are you okay?”

She cocks her head to the side and gives a small smile. I know that smile. It’s the one she gives guys who are trying to pick her up at the bar. The one that says, Oh, you’re so cute, but you’re too oblivious for your own good. “I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

I laugh. “Seriously? Why?”

“Isn’t Teagan one of your best friends?”

“Sure. I mean, she’s a family friend.” I shrug.

“And now you’re sleeping with her too?”

“Bethany—”

She holds up a hand. “I knew the deal, Carter. And, honestly, I never expected this to last as long as it has. I thought . . .” She sighs. “I thought you’d be better by now.”

“Better how?”

“Come on. I know how hard Max’s death hit you. That’s why you reached out to me the first time, remember?”

“I remember you dragging me to your bed.” I’m trying to make her laugh, but she looks sad.

“Well, I was trying to help.” Her smile falls away. “But instead, I became this crutch that you’ve used to keep yourself from moving on—me, Myla, God knows who else.”

Her lecture sounds too much like Jake’s, and irritation rankles so hard that I almost miss what she’s saying. “You’re . . . ending this?”

I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to feel. I should feel like I’m losing something. Bethany is smart, funny, and beautiful. I’ve truly enjoyed the role she’s played in my life this last six months. She was a bright spot when I had so few. But mostly, I’m relieved that she’s doing it so I don’t have to.

“If only there were something here to end,” she says. She takes my hand in hers and squeezes. “I don’t want to be an excuse. Max’s death was awful, but you weren’t to blame. It’s past time that you forgive yourself and go back to the Carter Jackson you were before—the one who was hunting for a woman to spend his life with and not one to warm his bed.” She stands, then leans down to press a kiss to the top of my head.

The maternal gesture is at odds with the relationship we’ve had lately, and it catches me off guard.

I cradle my head in my hands, close my eyes, and try to collect and steady myself. Because suddenly my world feels like its shifting beneath my feet.

Teagan

Shay Jackson opens the door to her apartment after my first knock. Her eyes light up when she sees me. “Speak of the devil,” she says. “I just got off the phone with Ava, who talked to Jake, who said you and Carter were looking mighty friendly at the bar last night. You two are making a habit of that.”