“Come get some food,” Mom says, sliding a plate into my free hand.

“Can’t wait,” I say. I lean down and kiss her forehead.

This morning’s exchange with Teagan must have worked magic, because I feel hungry for once. I spoon eggs and bacon on my plate and follow everyone to the dining room, taking a seat between Shay and Lilly.

I’ve spent enough time with Dr. Google to know my lack of appetite is one of the many symptoms of survivor guilt. Knowing the cause doesn’t make it any easier to chew and swallow when everything tastes like ash on my tongue and turns to lead in my stomach. The month after they pulled the plug on Max’s vent, I lost fifteen pounds, and I could see the worry in everyone’s eyes when they looked at me. I’ve managed to hold steady since, but not without a struggle.

“It’s like we’re not even here,” Shay says, and I snap my head up and realize everyone’s staring at me.

Did someone ask a question? I was lost in my thoughts. I’ve been working on that too, and getting better lately. Seeing Isaiah this morning drew me into a bad place.

And flirting with Teagan pulled you out of it.

“I asked how Teagan is this morning,” Mom says. “You two made a very handsome couple last night.” Of course. Because the expected conversation wouldn’t be awkward enough without my mother chiming in.

“She’s fine.” I shove a forkful of egg into my mouth and chew to avoid having to say more.

Shay grunts. “It was all pretend, Mom.” She doesn’t sound like she believes it.

“I feel so bad,” Molly says at the other end of the table. “If I’d realized how much you didn’t want to be auctioned off, I never would have asked you to do it.”

I shrug. Truth be told, I feel like an ass for essentially backing out. I should have let the richest woman in the room get her night with me, but I saw Teagan standing there, and I knew the only way I was going to make it through was if she was there to keep me laughing. If I had to listen to some woman wax poetic about my “bravery,” I might have had a total breakdown. My family has been through enough in the last decade. They don’t need to worry about the middle son losing it. “I hope I didn’t cost you too much,” I tell Molly.

“Well, your donation was more than generous, and I can tell you for certain we wouldn’t have made half as much without you there. The other bachelors went for more than expected, and we did great in the silent auction thanks to the numbers you brought in.”

“Our local hero,” Levi croons.

I take a pull of my coffee, trying to swallow back the bile surging in my throat. “Don’t call me that.”

Ethan and Brayden exchange a look. I focus on my plate. I don’t want to see the worry on their faces. I don’t want to see how well or how badly I’ve done hiding what a mess I’ve been.