I’m tense all night.

The rehearsal dinner is served in the gardens behind the Hayhurst mansion. It’s so beautiful out here that I understand why Saanvi initially hoped to do her reception in this spot. However, destination wedding or not, the guest list grew too large, and the ballroom at Jackson Brews Banquet Center was the obvious location. I reassured her that Molly would do a beautiful job making the reception everything Saanvi’s dreamed of, but there is something magical about these gardens in the moonlight.

Strings of fairy lights twinkle above the tables, and a jazz quartet plays from their spot in the gazebo. We’ve enjoyed four delicious courses with wine pairings, and conversation flows easily as we wait for dessert. The night’s grown chilly, and the staff brought out big outdoor heaters to sit on the edges of the cobblestone patio, allowing us to be comfortable in our dresses and still enjoy the starry autumn night sky.

Everything’s beautiful, and I’m surrounded by my family.

I should be happy.

Instead, I feel like there’s a weight on my chest too heavy to let me take in a deep breath.

Before Carter returned to our suite this afternoon, I turned off the music and blew out the candles, throwing them in the trash with the wine and the rose. When that still left me feeling jumpy, I ran the bin to housekeeping and asked them to empty it. I needed to physically distance myself from the evidence that Rich had been in our room—from the reminders that he holds a secret of mine.

I’d desperately wanted alone time with Carter before the rehearsal, but the scene Rich set changed all of that—changed my whole mood to the point where I practically avoided Carter for the short time we were alone together. When I saw Rich before dinner, I was torn between wanting to hide and wanting to scream at him. I did neither. I’m stuck, and he knows it.

He smiled and looked me over like a lover would. I wanted to claw those eyes out.

From his devoted-boyfriend post beside me, Carter didn’t miss a thing. The meal started with him flashing me knowing smiles and touching my hand and bare shoulder at any given opportunity. But I couldn’t focus on him and spent my time watching the faces around us and bracing for Rich to drop a bomb on my life. The more I withdrew from Carter’s touches, the more I failed to return his sweet gestures, the less he tried. We spent the last two courses silent beside each other, like a couple of strangers.

Carter frowns in Rich’s direction. I’m guessing he’s clued in to who’s responsible for this shift between us. “Is everything okay?”

The waiter leans between us to serve dessert, and I smile at him and wait for him to serve Carter before I reply. “Everything’s fine. Why?”

He shakes his head, but I can tell he wants to push the issue.