“I do worry, of course,” Mom says, pulling my attention back to the topic at hand. She studies me, and I can tell from the look in her eyes that she’s trying to decide how much to say. “It worries me that you felt you had to keep the relationship a secret—not once but twice.”

My brows shoot up. Twice. Someone’s been talking to Rich.

“How healthy can a relationship be if the woman is keeping it a secret from her family?”

“Mom . . .”

“Enough of that,” Saanvi says, waving her hands and saving me from having to come up with an explanation. “Their relationship is no secret now, so let it go. I’ve talked to him a lot the last couple of days, and I, for one, really like him.”

“I do too,” Mom says. “But Rich said you two acted quite serious when he met Carter last year, and yet you never told us about him then. And he seems wonderful, Teagan, but I keep wondering how wonderful he could really be if you’ve been here before and it didn’t work.”

“I’m sorry, Mom, but I don’t tell you about every guy I date.” I hate this lie. It makes me feel like such crap. But more than that, I hate the implication that Carter must not be good enough for me.

Saanvi studies me. “Do you love him?”

I open my mouth and close it again. “He’s been my friend for a long time.” I’m not sure how I feel about him. I loved him as a friend before we started all of this and have been attracted to him as a woman since the day we met. These days together have made those feelings tangle into a complicated knot I can’t make sense of.

“You’re afraid to love him,” Saanvi says softly. “He told me why.”

“Why?” Mom asks, her brow furrowing.

Saanvi squeezes my wrist. “Because of Heath, Mama. Carter has a dangerous job, and she’s scared to lose him like she lost Heath.”

I turn up my hand and let my little sister lace her fingers with mine. “That was why I didn’t want to get involved at first,” I admit. “But now . . .” Now I don’t care about that. Now I want Carter. Even if I had to go through the same heartache again, I’d want him.

“Oh, Teagan.” Mom sinks to the floor in front of us and puts her hands on my knees. “I am so sorry that still haunts you, but you cannot let this fear keep you from the person you love.” She smiles and slowly shakes her head. “It’s always scary to give your heart to someone—no matter their job—but far worse than that fear is living a life without the person you love. If you push him away again and something happens to him at work, do you think it’ll hurt any less?”

“No,” I whisper. “I don’t.”

She nods sagely and squeezes my free hand. “Then I think you have your answer.”