She supposed that, ironically, part of what made her feel so bad was the contrast between her present and her past. Between her new sense of purpose and her ongoing grief. Between the love she’d begun to feel for the new people in her life—and the pain and loss that had come before.

She had to admit that another benefit of her YouTube channel was the way she’d been compelled to think about her mom—as well as the dads. They’d all known Reba, all loved her. And being here, in Painted Pony Creek, seeing them regularly, felt like a chance to learn more about her mother, through them and through Shallie…

She wondered if Shallie was back, if they could talk. She hit Save and packed up her laptop, then walked to the ranch house.

Cord was sitting on the porch with his canine companions, taking a break—checking his cell and having a midafternoon beer. “Hi!” he called out. “How’d it go?”

“Good. Um, is Shallie still at home?”

“As far as I know.”

And then Carly made an abrupt decision. “Do you have a minute?”

“For you? Always. What’s up?”

“Just…want to talk to you. But first I want to say that whether you turn out to be my dad or not, I’m really, really grateful for everything you’ve done to help me. You’ve all become so important to me. You and Shallie, Tina and Mitch… Eli and J.P.”

“You’re important to all of us. And not just because of Reba, but because of who and what you are, how you’ve dealt with the incredibly hard circumstances life’s handed you.”

“Thanks.” She took a shaky breath. “I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot lately. I try not to. But I can’t help it. I’m depressed and I can’t talk my way out of it right now.”

Cord sat forward. “What can I do?”

She wanted to respond, but couldn’t, not yet, as tears crowded her eyes. Again. “I… I loved my mom,” she finally managed. “Still love her. And sometimes the grief just hits me.”

“I understand,” Cord said quietly.

“We all have hard times,” Carly told him, “I realize that. We all have losses and go through grief. I’m not comparing. But…”

“Your situation is especially difficult. First because you’re so young, and Reba died so young, at a very vulnerable age for you. And not knowing who your father is—that doesn’t make it any easier. But like I said the other night, whichever one of us is your dad will step up. And then you’ll have two uncles, as well.”

That was a thought she’d had a number of times now and hearing him say it made her smile.

“You know, my mom… Reba didn’t tell me a lot about any of you guys. Or about Shallie. I don’t really understand why. All she told me is that you or Eli or J.P. is my dad.” Carly had to hesitate for a minute. “She was already in the hospital then. And…and never came out. Stage 4 when it was diagnosed. I spent all my time there.” She couldn’t disguise her bitterness when she added, “Duncan, her husband, hardly even bothered to show up.”