He tried to pull away, albeit not very hard. Aaron just tightened his arms. “It’s all right, Joel. It’s all right.”

Joel appeared to be clinging on to him. Could he make more of a fool of himself here? “Sorry,” he mumbled into the cloth of Aaron’s jacket.

“You’ve every right to be angry. It is my fault.”

“It’s Colthorne’s fault. I’m only shouting at you because you’re here and I’m scared.”

Aaron’s hand slid up to the back of his head, into his hair. Joel wondered if he was even aware he was doing it. “If it’s not my fault, it’s my responsibility. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Joel squirmed so he could look up into Aaron’s face. Those dark eyes were devastating at close range, with the warm depths of a cup of coffee, and just as liable to keep him up at night. “You didn’t. It’s not your fault. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“So do I,” Aaron said, a whisper of a voice.

“If it wasn’t.” God, he oughtn’t say this. “If it wasn’t like it is—”

“If it wasn’t, I’d ask you to stay,” Aaron said, in a voice that sounded to be dragged out of him. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about you before it.”

“Christ. Aaron—”

Joel had no idea which of them moved first. Maybe it was both of them, because Aaron’s mouth was crushed to his, and they were kissing frantically, desperately, teeth colliding and lips pressed so hard they’d bruise. Joel locked his left arm round Aaron’s waist, grabbed his head, pulled them both backwards so they sprawled on the settee. Joel under, wrapping his thighs round Aaron’s hips, Aaron’s weight on him and his hands clutching Joel’s face. Kissing like starving men, or like frightened, despairing, slightly drunk ones.

After a few frantic moments Aaron pulled a little away, and rested his forehead on Joel’s. “God. You.”

“We could have half an hour,” Joel said. “Can’t we? I’ve been here long enough to fuck anyway, if anyone’s watching, and if they’re not, then—”

“To the devil with it,” Aaron rasped. “I want to taste you again.”

“Yes please. Please do.”

Aaron’s hand scrabbled at his buttons. Joel squirmed under him, giving him access, inhaling sharply as his prick sprang free. Aaron took it in hand, very lightly, almost hesitantly, and glanced up.

He had liked direction before. Joel said, “Use your tongue. Just your tongue, for now.”