“Thanks,” I say absently, and keep on writing. I’m following the rules of the book exactly, taking out all my receipts and writing them all down, and I’m feeling really pleased with myself. It just shows, as David E. Barton says, that with a bit of application, anyone can gain control of their finances.

Come to think of it, I’ve bought quite a lot of moisturizer today, haven’t I? To be honest, when I was at the Clarins counter, buying my Revitalizing Moisturizer, I forgot about all those pots I’d bought at Boots. Still, never mind. You always need moisturizer. It’s a staple, like bread and milk, and David E. Barton says you should never scrimp on staples. And apart from that, I don’t think I’ve done too badly. Of course I haven’t added it all up yet, but . . .

OK. So here is my final and complete list:

Cappuccino £1.50

Muffin £1.00

Notebook £3.99

Pen £1.20

Magazines £6.40

Leaving present £4.00

Egg and cress sandwich 99p

Coconut bath oil £2.55

Boots Moisturizers £20.97

Two cardigans £90.00

Evening Standard 35p

Clarins Neck Cream £14.50

Clarins Moisturizer £32.50

Beauty Bag Free!

Banana smoothie £2.00

Carrot cake £1.20

And that comes to a grand total of . . . £177.96

I stare at this figure in utter shock.

No, I’m sorry, that just can’t be right. It can’t be right. I can’t have spent over £170 in one day.

I mean, it isn’t even the weekend. I’ve been at work. I wouldn’t have had time to spend that much. There has to be something wrong somewhere. Maybe I haven’t added it up right. Or maybe I’ve entered something twice.

My eye runs more carefully down the list and suddenly stops in triumph. “Two cardigans.” I knew it! I only bought . . .

Oh yes. I did buy two, didn’t I? Blast. Oh, this is too depressing. I’m going to go and watch EastEnders.

OCTAGON — flair • style • vision

Financial Services Department

8th Floor, Tower House

London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR

Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood Charge Card Number 7854 4567

Flat 2

4 Burney Rd.

London SW6 8FD

5 March 2000

Dear Ms. Bloomwood:

Thank you for your check for £43.00, received today.

Unfortunately, the check is unsigned. No doubt just an oversight on your part. I am therefore returning it to you and request that you sign it and return to us.

As you are no doubt aware, this payment is already late by eight days.

I look forward to receiving your signed check.

Yours sincerely,

John Hunter

Customer Accounts Manager

ENDWICH BANK

FULHAM BRANCH

3 Fulham Road

London SW6 9JH

Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood

Flat 2

4 Burney Rd.

London SW6 8FD

5 March 2000

Dear Ms. Bloomwood:

Thank you for your answer-machine message of Sunday 4 March.

I am sorry to hear that your dog has died.

Nevertheless, I must insist that you make contact with myself or my assistant, Erica Parnell, within the next few days, in order to discuss your situation.