Because, of course, we don’t have the editorial budget to create our own front covers. God, no. When I first started out in journalism, I thought I’d be able to go to shoots, and meet models, and have a really glamorous time. But we don’t even have a cameraman. All our sorts of magazines use picture libraries like Image Store, and the same images tend to go round and round. There’s a picture of a roaring tiger that’s been on at least three personal finance covers in the last year. Still, the readers don’t mind, do they? They’re not exactly buying the magazines to look at Kate Moss.

The good thing is that Elly’s editor doesn’t like choosing front covers either—and they use Image Store, too. So we always try to work it that we’ll go together and have a good natter over the pics. Even better, Image Store is all the way over in Notting Hill Gate, so you can legitimately take ages getting there and back. Usually I don’t bother going back to the office. Really, it’s the perfect way to spend a weekday afternoon.

I get there before Elly and mutter, “Becky Bloomwood from Successful Saving,” to the girl at reception, wishing I could say “Becky Bloomwood from Vogue” or “Becky Bloomwood from Wall Street Journal.” Then I sit on a squashy black leather chair, flicking through a catalogue of pictures of glossy happy families, until one of the trendy young men who works there comes and leads me to my own illuminated table.

“I’m Paul,” he says, “and I’ll be looking after you today. Do you know what you’re looking for?”

“Well . . .” I say, and pull out my notebook. We had a meeting about the cover yesterday and eventually decided on “Portfolio Management: Getting the Right Balance.” And before your head falls off with boredom, let me just point out that last month, the cover line was “Deposit Accounts: Put to the Test.”

Why can’t we just once put self-tanning creams to the test instead? Oh well.

“I’m looking for pictures of scales,” I say, reading off my list. “Or tightropes, unicycles . . .”

“Balancing images,” says Paul. “No problem. Would you like a coffee?”

“Yes, please,” I beam, and relax back in my chair. You see what I mean? It’s so nice here. And I’m being paid to sit in this chair, doing nothing at all.

A few moments later, Elly appears with Paul, and I look at her in surprise. She’s looking really smart, in an aubergine-colored suit and high heels.

“So it’s swimmers, boats, and European images,” says Paul to her.

“That’s it,” says Elly, and sinks into the chair beside me.

“Let me guess,” I say. “Something about floating currencies.”

“Very good,” says Elly. “Actually, it’s ‘Europe: Sink or Swim’?” She says it in an incredibly dramatic voice, and Paul and I both start giggling. When he’s walked away, I look her up and down.

“So how come you’re so smart?”