“Your Standing Orders Sub-Committee must advise you that we are extremely reluctant to accept emergency motions, which disrupt the smooth running of conference. Emergency motions will only be accepted if they relate to a genuine emergency. The definition of a genuine emergency is laid out in SO9(a)(ii), but in practice, it is “a set of circumstances about which the chair of SOS could not conceivably have had prior knowledge.” Delegates should bear in mind that the chair of SOS is not a registered psychic.”

from “Advice for New Delegates”, a Standing Orders Sub-Committee booklet.

“Emergency Motion 17. This conference deplores the death of AMWU’s General Secretary and instructs the National Executive Council to express the union’s condolences to Tom Jack’s widow and family. It further instructs all delegates and officials of the union to extend their full and free cooperation to the South Yorkshire Police in respect of their inquiry into Tom Jack’s untimely death. It further calls upon any person involved to come forward immediately.” Lindsay read the words with a sense of unreality. Only a trade union could believe an emergency conference motion was the way to handle something like this, she thought, looking around to check there wasn’t a white rabbit or a hookah-smoking caterpillar around.

She was standing in the shadows at the side of the stage with Sophie, reluctant to return to her exposed position among the other observers on their dais. She was going to have to face the questions of the mob sooner or later, but the longer she could postpone it, the happier she’d be. Silently, she handed the copy of the motion, currently being proposed by Central London Print Branch, to Sophie, who couldn’t keep a bemused grin from lips that felt bruised from their recent close encounter. Suddenly, a man Lindsay vaguely remembered having seen waiting for the lift on her floor of Maclintock Tower ran up the steps of the opposing podium and seized the microphone.

“Jed Thomas, London Broadcast Journalists’ Branch, proposing an amendment to the motion.” In spite of the cries of “Out of order” from the handful of procedural bureaucrats on the floor, he persisted. For some reason, no one on the platform cut off his mike. Scarlet, he said, “This Annual Delegate Conference offers its congratulations to anyone who was involved in ridding this union of a man who was largely responsible for the dissent, disorganization, dishonesty and dissatisfaction he presided over. While we regret the undemocratic methods chosen for his removal, we applaud the result and the benefits that will accrue to the union as a result.”