"'You are our chosen one.' And it's bullshit and I know it right away. S'like a joke, almost.

She says, 'Oh no, oh no.' [Imitates singsong.] Y'know, like they're trying to pull my leg. I want to go home.

" 'What if we don't let you go home?'

"But I don't know if she said that or not. I think I think that she said it." (I was shown that door again, which for some reason terrified me. I was asked if I wanted them to open the door.) "'I do not want you to open that door! I belong with my momma and my wife... and my boy. That is where I belong. [Sobs.] I don't belong here. I don't know how I ended up here. What the hell did I do to attract all this?"' (She asked if I was as hard as I could get. I did not know exactly what was meant.) "'I guess I am.'

"Voice: 'Can you be harder?'

"'Can I be harder?' Oh, Lord. Didn't know I was hard tike that. 'No, not with you around I can't be harder.'

"Voice: 'What would you like me to be?'

"'What would I like you to be? I'd like you to be a dream, is what I'd like you to be.'

"Voice: 'I can't be that.'

"'I know you can't be that. You just cut me on my finger.' Just like that. He just comes up, pow, bang, gone. Doesn't hurt at all. Doesn't hurt at all. I'm not scared the floor goes away like that. I'm like rolling like a ball. Feels like I'm going backwards in a movie, almost. It's like you just had total freedom and you could fly, only you're not going anywhere except down the rails. Oh, boy."

(I went sailing right back into my living room in no more than a minute. I had no memory of where I had just come from.) "I sit on the couch. I think I'm gonna build up the tire except I haven't got any clothes on. So cold. So tired. I go upstairs. There's two people standing tip here now. And it scares me because I'm — I don't think they were there. I don't think they were there. I go in the bathroom, brush my teeth. I can't get that face out of my head. I sure am glad to get home. Now I have to just go to bed. I see my dark pajamas, blue pajamas. put on my pajamas, tie them up. button them up, get right into bed. I touch Anne. and she's warm God. I wish I could live in a prison. [Sits with eves closed, slumped as if sleeping.]"

"I want you to relax. I want you to go back, back. I want you to see her very vividly, very vividly. I want you to see her face."

"Yeah.

"Why do you say she's a woman?"