Screams could be heard easily. But loud talking was much less audible. and it would not have been possible that soft words of comfort could have been heard over screaming, even given our sparse soundproofing.

However, if the screaming was actually much closer to Anne, the words of comfort would also have been audible — especially if they were intended for us both and the screaming was muffled by some unknown effect.

There followed the first of the allusions that supported the notion that I ought to revise my understanding of my life. "I don't think Whitley was there very much. He was gone. You know, he goes sometimes at night. He goes and works. Or he just goes."

I don't remember going, though. I never work in the middle of the night. Once I'm in bed, I generally stay there all night unless I hear our son. And that happens no more than two or three times in a year.

While Anne's hidden role seemed to be that of passive supporter, her own life role is very different. It was clearly revealed by a statement she made before the second session, when Dr. Naiman asked her if her presence in his office was voluntary. "If I had said, No, I'm not going through with this,' I wouldn't be here." She is as independent a person as I know, a committed feminist who is politically and socially as active as she cares to be. Except when it comes to this. In this matter; she is passive, which is in itself awfully strange.

As the intensity of the experience built, Anne became uneasy with her role. "Things were going on and I wanted to know what was going on!" Her tone became forceful, almost angry.

When asked why she didn't simply go and see, she repeated that she wasn't supposed to.

Supporting this came the first of a number of what she feels are references to a female authority: "It was like your mother said to you, 'You have to stay here.'"

Anne's hypnosis strongly suggested that I'm taken all the time. And mine as well implied more than the two recent occasions. When she was being hypnotized Anne had no idea at all that I remembered more than two occasions when something. strange happened. So why did she say "friend," as if a familiar individual were present, and why did she assert that I go "all the time"?

When Dr. Naiman and Budd Hopkins moved to the events of December 26, there was a flavor of what it must be like living with all these strange secrets when she made reference to my talking about the crystal in the sky. I remember the image clearly, and I remember being nonplussed when I spoke of it, because even at the time it seemed like a sort of falsehood —something I needed to say in order to put some deep uneasiness to rest.