“Tick-tock,” I said, smiling sideways at her to cover my uncertainty as I passed.

I somehow avoided being stopped, everyone engaged in their own conversations. Mom, Laney, and Ivy bent over a vase of zinnias. Dad and Kash talking about the pH levels of the yarrow beds. And silently, casually, inconspicuously, I walked down to storage.

The building was dark, and I was greeted by the smell of earth and old wood, the sharp scent of fertilizer and mulch, the sweetness of a hundred years of memories and age and familiarity. And I leaned back against the shelves next to the ladder where I’d caught Tess.

Had it only been a few days ago? It seemed like years. Too much had changed for it to have only been days. Days ago, I’d been convinced she hated me. Hours ago, I’d had her body at my disposal. And if I’d learned anything from last night, it was that a taste wouldn’t be enough.

Not when it came to Tess.

I couldn’t understand why. Because it was true—she had been shitty to me and for no other reason than she thought I was impervious to pain. Which was fair enough … that was armor I wore quite often and with great purpose. Maybe it was that I’d won her over, and that battle had been hard-fought.

But on inspection, I knew the real reason was this: Tess Monroe was a mystery to me, and I wanted to unearth the answers to all my questions. Like why she was so averse to adventure. Or why she wanted to do the same thing, day in and day out. I wanted to know what it had been like for her all these years, taking care of her dad, living without her mom.

I couldn’t imagine life without my mother. She was the brightest, boldest fixture in my life, a constant support and constant love. And I knew one day, she would be gone. I knew that someday, she would leave this world. I knew that my youth was a gift, that as I grew older, so the stakes would rise. Now was the time when tragedy rarely struck. My family was healthy, whole, happy, but the years would wear that away. It was only a matter of time.

And Tess had already done the unimaginable—survived loss at an age when her biggest problem should have been which lip gloss to wear. She’d taken on the responsibility of her household when she should have been sneaking out to go to parties.

It was no wonder she was cautious. If I’d lost in the ways she had, I wouldn’t be so free.

I heard her before I saw her, talking to Kash at the top of the ramp, and a rush tore through me.

She came.

“There’s some stuff I need. I mean, Mrs. Bennet wanted me to get the … uh … the old … um, Luke said there were more rain boots! Yes. Rain boots,” she rambled. “And I, um, I was just going to see if I could find them.”