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Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. JUNE
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. JULY
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. AUGUST
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. OCTOBER
  36. 30
  37. Acknowledgements
  38. Read More
  39. THE BEGINNING

But she just nods and hurries away, troubled by the incident on the doorstep, wondering what the man upstairs is being hounded about. The image that comes to her is of an elderly man sitting still and quiet in his own house while his heart flutters with nerves, waiting for the voice to go away.

By the time she reaches work, the image has dissipated. The morning is busy, and she welcomes the well-worn familiarity of the tasks before her. Since leaving school eight years ago, she has worked for Castle and Maine Patents and Trademarks Attorneys, starting off in the post room before being promoted to an administrative role upstairs. She has a reputation in the office for being quiet but efficient, reserved but dependable. ‘Whatever would we do without you?’ the senior partners sometimes say to her.

One of them, more recently, had taken her aside and asked if she would consider studying towards the trademark attorney exams. There was a professional career path if she wished to pursue it. No doubt it would be a big commitment, he had warned her, several years of study and exams. But the rewards would make it worthwhile when she eventually qualified, he’d said, adding that he had every faith in her ability and that she would receive full support.

Leah can recall the flash in his eye when she had told him that she had no wish to go down that path, preferring to stay where she was. He hadn’t pushed her much, instead accepting her decision graciously, but she could see it in the look he gave her, the way his eyes lingered on her face, speculating, no doubt, on what lay behind her lack of ambition. And she knew he could see it in her: the fear. It is, after all, the commanding emotion in her life. It was hard to explain to a man like him, a man who had striven and studied and pushed his way up the career ladder to reach the fruit hanging ripe on the tree, that for someone like Leah it was necessary to stay small and safe, to remain within the confines of the familiar. To go outside – to push herself – meant the risk of exposure, and she couldn’t countenance that. What she had was enough.

‘I’m happy where I am,’ she had told him.

It wasn’t a lie. Not really.

At lunchtime, the girls from the office head out into the sunshine and walk to the pizzeria in Ranelagh – a pay-day tradition. Mostly, Leah joins them, but today she takes her sandwiches and goes to sit alone in the railed park beside the office. There’s a small bench there where she can take out her phone without risk of being disturbed.