He does as she instructs, grabs the glass, like a lifeline, gulps the water. He closes his eyes briefly as he sets the glass down, and when he opens them, he is looking at her. A fearful look.

‘Did you know?’ he asks quietly.

She shakes her head.

‘Sometimes I thought you might have guessed.’

He looks again at the knife, squeezes his eyes shut, and whispers, ‘Christ,’ under his breath. She watches as he exhales – a long, slow breath to calm himself – and then, when he is ready, he starts to tell her.

‘The strange thing is, I liked Charlotte,’ he begins. ‘I know you thought she was trouble, but she was always nice to me. A flirt, yes, but she could be funny as well, and attentive. Whenever we’d talk, I always felt she was genuinely interested in what I was saying. She was nice – far nicer than her husband.’ Hilary notes the change in his tone, wistfulness giving way to hardness. ‘He was a creep. Chasing other women – not even trying to conceal it. He thought he was God’s gift. I couldn’t understand what she saw in him. And the mind-games they played with each other – it was head-wrecking. I felt sorry for her.’

He kneads his hands above the table. She sees the whiteness of his knuckles.

‘I knew you liked him, but I told myself it was nothing, just some stupid crush. You were all over the place after we’d lost the baby, so I let it go, presuming it wasn’t serious, just some stupid infatuation that you’d get over once we’d moved into our own place. But then at the party –’

He breaks off suddenly, and she sees the emotion springing up inside him.

‘Go on,’ she tells him, in her quiet, firm voice.

‘I just wanted to let off steam. It had been a hard summer for me. I’m not sure if you even realized that at the time. Trying to get this place done, dealing with builders who knew I didn’t have a fucking clue … And you, Hilary. You were so upset after the baby. I didn’t know how to deal with you. It was like treading on eggshells all that summer. I wanted to protect you – to comfort you – but you just kept holding me at arm’s length.’ He shakes his head, as if annoyed with himself. ‘That night, when we went to the party, I just wanted to get drunk and forget about things for a while. So I laid into the booze, and got lost in the party. It was not until well into it that I realized you weren’t there.’

Understanding is coming to her now, returning to that night, her mind reeling backwards.