"Unicorns and fairy dust."

"Screw you, Skippy." I shot back, before remembering with horror where I was. "Sorry, Madame president."

The president seemed genuinely amused. "Thank you, Sergeant. I think today is the first time I've genuinely smiled in the last year."

"Yes." I vowed right then to keep my mouth shut whenever I could, in the future. "Thank you, we don't want to take up your time, ma'am."

"I look forward to talking with you later. In the meantime, enjoy your breakfast." She turned to go, but looked over her shoulder at me. "Oh, and Sergeant?"

"Yes, Madame President?"

"Thank you for saving the world."

Breakfast was good, damned good. Major Simms cautioned us former pirates not to stuff ourselves, since our stomachs weren't used to eating real food. I settled for grits, which I put brown sugar and cream in, plus buttered toast and one, no, two, Ok, I confess! Three strips of bacon. Oh, man it was all soooooo good. And a cup of honest to God, real coffee. Black, hot, in an Army logo mug. I felt like crying.

Two things put a teeny damper on my breakfast. The first was the Air Force staff sergeant who showed up right after I sat down. She was only about five feet four, had her brown hair in a short ponytail, but the way she stood, spoke, and the expression on her face told me she was all business. That, and her sidearm. Oh, and the four airmen behind her, who were carrying M4s. "Sergeant Bishop? I'm Staff Sergeant Kendall, I've been assigned to you, to accompany you. Everywhere."

"Oh." I managed to say with a mouthful of toast. "You're the security team assigned by the president?"

"I don't know about the president, Sergeant, but the Air Force Chief of Staff gave me orders personally." She raided her eyebrow, to emphasize that didn't happen every day.  "We're to assure the security of you, your phone," she said that with a questioning tone, "and the, the uh," she pointed at Skippy, who I had thoughtfully rested in a ceramic bowl on the table in front of me, "the Skippy?"

"That's me, in all my magnificence, the amazing Skippy." Skippy said. "So, you're Colonel Joe's baby sitter? Make sure he gets to bed early, he gets cranky if he doesn't get a nice nap. And don't let him have too many juice boxes."

She didn't smile, not even one little bit. The Air Force apparently hadn't seen fit to issue her a sense of humor. Great. She was going to be my constant shadow, and even Skippy couldn't get her to smile.

The second damper on my feast was the three guys sitting across the table from me, looking like they couldn't wait for me to finish eating toast. Two were Army intelligence, the other guy had to be with one of the three letter agencies, and not the EPA, if you know what I mean.